Only You

Chapter 30

IU's POV

I finished reading, and my fingers froze over the keyboard as I processed the contents of the email. 

No. She can't do this to me. 

My fingernails dug into the keys, and one popped off in protest. In a haze of anger, I clicked 'delete' to get rid of the despicable message then slammed the cover of the laptop down. Rising in my chair with both hands on the desk, I took a deep breath to calm myself.

What do I do? What can I do? I wanted to scream with frustration or break down and start sobbing, although I was more likely to do both. Another thought hit me with the force of a sledgehammer that left the next breath of air hard to pull in.

What was I going to tell Suzy? And Jungkook? 

"I-I'll tell them tomorrow." I mumbled, staring at my hand resting lifelessly on the table, a numbness starting to set into both my brain and body. I turned to get out of the study, and quietly shut the door behind me. Walking past what used to be Suzy's room-which Jungkook was now occupying-to get to my room, I climbed into my bed and blacked out. 

Next morning...

I opened my mouth to speak, but didn't know where to start. Jungkook looked at me concernedly and cupped my cheek with one hand. 

"You don't look so good. Did you not get enough sleep? Did you eat something strange? Is there something wrong?" he murmured, testing my temperature with the back of his hand and tucking my hair behind my ear.

I had pulled him out of the room with intentions to talk to him, but my resolve was now wavering at the focus of his patient and steady gaze.

"I-I..." I struggled for a breath, which hitched and left me feeling momentarily lightheaded. "Nothing. Never mind." I said, trying to push down the rising feeling of guilt. 

"There's something wrong, isn't there?" he asked, his brows furrowing. 

Looking up at him helplessly, I realized that I would never be able to tell him, no matter how much I wanted to. I didn't have the courage, determination, or strength to tell him. He was the strong one in the two of us, the talented one, the caring one. Maybe I was the one who didn't deserve him. 

"I can't tell you." I whispered hoarsely as my thoughts plummeted into a downward spiral of anguish. 

His expression got colder, and his hand dropped to his side. "Why can't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry."

"If so, I have other things to do. Excuse me."

With that, he left the room. I stood there, and my throat released the tears that had been pooling in my eyes. 

The next few days were few of the worst in my life, and things only got worse. I barely ate, slept, or paid attention at school. I felt distant, and very alone. There was no motivation to approach Suzy and tell her that I was moving. It's not like she would care.

Jungkook's POV

There was something very wrong with IU, and I wanted to know. Why couldn't she tell me? Doesn't she trust me? Questions and doubts blew around inside my head like a pieces of paper caught inside a hurricane. 

Jieun continued to be listless for the next few days, but my pride wouldn't allow me to console her. I was slightly angry and hurt about how she had refused to share her worries with me, and was as moody as she was emotionless. 

Aish. Girls are so hard to understand. 

Suzy's POV

Living with Taehyung was pretty wonderful. Since that two-faced Krystal had moved into Jieun's home, I had gone through so many phases of indignance and envy that I just snapped one day. 

Taehyung had asked me out a few months before, much to my delight, though I think he was just trying to get Jieun to be jealous. That didn't make me feel great, exactly, but I really liked him. He displayed a lot of affection towards me when we were in front of Jungkook and/or Jieun. Jungkook seemed to be perplexed at first, but ignored us as the weeks went by. I don't think Jieun ever noticed. 

He was very polite when it was just the two of us. In fact, he even used honorifics sometimes, to my dismay. 

But seeing him every day and being able to talk to him, the honorifics eventually dropped off and disappeared. I hopefully took that as a sign that he might actually start liking me. 

I sighed when the screen of my phone blinked to darkness as the battery died. I missed Jieun, I really did. It was just that my jealousy toward how she treated Krystal made me feel neglected, leading to the rash decision to move out. When I had called Taehyung to tell him to pick me up, he happily obliged, and now I was in Jungkook's old room. 

In the following week that I left, she had showed up on the doorstep of Taehyung's apartment countless times to beg me to go back and live with her. Each time, I had shut her down with an air of impatience and frostiness. Finally, she gave up, but at school I still occasionally caught her staring at me with a heartbroken expression. 

The past few days, the scant glimpses of Jieun I had had told me that there was something going on. I have known her for over thirteen years after all. I can sense these things. 

She looked pale, and her skin was waxy without the usual healthy blush that she possessed. Her eyes were a dull, inanimate black, and her frame was thinner and frailer than usual. This caused me to feel an overwhelming surge of concern that I crushed down with increasing difficulty each time I saw her. 

"Jieun, I miss you so much." I whispered, gazing out the window and savoring each word of the sentence I longed for her to hear. 

With that, I flicked off the light switch and welcomed the endless darkness. 

A/N: Next chapter- Jieun moving out. Don't forget to vote and comment!! Saranghaeyo!!! :)