Painful [NCT Ten] 《Finished》

Fin

Ten and I came back from our trip three weeks ago, avoiding as many fans/paparazzi as we could.

The only thing we don't need nor want is a scandal.

I told him to spend time with his teammates, he was worried for me since our day at the spa with our conversation about me being in love with him.

He's like that because I told them I wasn't sure about it and didn't give him an answer.

It's somehow a stupid reason to be worried but the other day he told me I was the love of his life and that he still liked me like years ago so...

He truly wants me to answer to know if we could try it again and I just don't know...

I came back to work at YGEnt, or well at least I tried.

G-Dragon had already gave back the CEO position to my uncle before I came but I thanked him anyway for taking care of it while I was gone.

My uncle threatens me with firing me because I'm not taking care of myself.

He said the time I spent with Ten didn't help me because he could sense I was still so stressed, to be honest he's right.

My main problem right now is with myself.

I feel like I don't know me anymore and that makes me mad and stresses me to hell.

Once again I was going to take a time from work, that makes me feel useless.

I want to help, I want my uncle to spend time with his family, I want my mother to feel proud of me.

Wherever he is I want my father to see I'm responsible and.... Well I want him to know that I'm very sorry for everything.

I miss him, goddamn it I miss him so much but I never show it.

I know my mother still cries when she sees a picture of him, that just makes my heart hurt.

If you're wondering about Monsta X they moved to a new dorm, I still talk with them, with Wonho the most obviously since we're very close.

They're preparing for a new comeback, shit they make comebacks so often right?

Right now I'm on my living room looking through the window, it's a rainy day like many others.

My mother is out buying food for me.

She cried for me this morning.

She saw me standing in front of the mirror and she cried because I'm so skinny and unhealthy now, you can see my ribs clearly.

I don't want her to feel bad for me, I'm doing it for myself already and it's enough.

It's not like I'm not eating It's just that my body isn't accepting the food well.

The stress is consuming me and my thoughts are making me sick each passing second.

My phone has been ringing the whole morning, Ten has called me a thousand times already but I don't feel like answering.

I went to my room and dressed up to go out, ripped jeans, a hoodie, a cap and sneakers.

I take my keys and head to the door, as soon as I open it Ten's face is reveled a second before he starts knocking.

He stares at me deeply, like he's trying to see my soul or something.

"You're really skinny now, even more than the last time we saw each other, are you eating well Danbi?" He asked.

"I am or at least I try, look I'm heading out are you coming with me?" I ask closing the door behind me.

"I am, where are we going?" He asked.

"To the nearest park, is that okay with you?" I ask eyeing him from head to toe, he isn't wearing a cap, neither a face mask nor something to cover the fact he's an idol...

"It doesn't bother me if someone sees me with you" He said on our way but I knew his company would have a problem if Ten makes another scandal.

We got to the park and sat on the grass, there's more people around than the one I was expecting actually, but that's nice so we won't look suspicious.

We both lay back looking at the sky in silence.

"Do you remember the day I came to Korea?" He asks and I close my eyes.

"One of the most painful days of my life" I say in a low tone.

"I cried on the plane the whole way here and I almost fainted from the pain I was feeling, it was the most difficult decision on my life" He says sincerely.

"I couldn't attend to school for a week, my mother tried to comfort me everyday but my heart wouldn't stop hurting, just to remember the fact I wasn't going to see your face in front of me every single day was killing me" I confess.

"Danbi" He says and I look at him.

"I love you"

I closed my eyes and a few tears dropped down my cheeks, I smile a bit.

"I think in order to free my mind and recover my health I must answer this, I took too many time to think about it" I say and he sits looking at me.

"I figured out you're more important to me that I would ever imagine, you have broke my heart at least thrice, even when we weren't together and that made me realize I won't ever love someone the way I love you Ten, I thought I moved on but you were always in my mind and goddamn it, every single thing remembered me to you" I confessed and opened my eyes.

He's crying a bit, always my beautiful yet handsome crybaby.

"You're still perfect when you cry" I say whipping his tears away.

"I'm sorry if I ever made you suffer with me decisions I really do, I never meant to hurt you even when I tried to move one and even when I tried to keep you away of my life, I think we're meant to be because we always comeback to each other's arms, I want to thank you for been there when I had my heart broken no matter what" He says smiling sadly.

I hug him and then stare at him with a soft smile.

"There's nothing to thank neither to be sorry, all of that counts as an experience on our lives, at the end this is our painful love story and I bet we'll create more memories together, we're going to be happy and re-create a path together" I say and he hugs me tightly.

So this is how our Painful love story ends.

From now on it will be better, maybe beautiful.

Love wasn't dead we just tried to block it from our lives.

New memories, new beginning just the two of us.

If you fix my heart I'll fix yours because this is how the things are.

Things are always calm on the eye of the storm.

_______________________________

I want to thank you all guys for reading my fic and accompanying me throught this "trip", after 21 chapters this is finaly the end, thanks for those 1K views it means a lot to me♥

I'm writting a new fic of Wonho if any of you feel like reading it by the way (it's on asian fanfic)

I want to say sorry for not updating I just lost my way and to be honest this wasn't the end I was expecting but well I couldn't leave this fic without an end (damn I keep repeting the same shit x'D)

Again thank you so much guys.

Sincerely~

-HeoSori