chapter seventeen

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(harry)

I'm back to being grounded again right after the homecoming dance so I'm hitching a ride from Niall again. We're both quiet in the car which is unusual. I know what he's thinking about and I'm just trying to forget about homecoming altogether.

"Do we have practices this week or not?" Niall asks suddenly.

"Yeah, till this week." I tell him. From next week onwards, we're expected to be preparing for our midterms in November. It goes quiet again and it's killing me. I don't care about what happened. Taylor and I went as friends and she'd been drunk. Shit happens. "Yeah, you guys don't have to feel bad for me." I look out the window. "Taylor and I are cool. We're just us." I say as if that should make sense to Niall. It barely makes any sense to me.

I get out of Niall's car and wait for him. "Thanks man." I wave him at him as I head to my locker. It's both painful and awkward as I see Taylor at her locker. I shake my head and go to mine. Every minute that is wordless feels painful to me. It's the thought that everyone pities me when it's really nothing. I feel like she's going to say something because I can feel her stealing glances at me like she did at homecoming. She doesn't and just leaves. If that's how she wants things to be, I guess I should too. I don't know how I could ever talk to her. I never know what to say to her.

When I look into my locker, I realise that there's another note left for me. This one says 'Congrats for winning homecoming king! It looks like I have a lot of girls to compete with thought ): -your secret admirer' I can now conclude that my secret admirer is a girl. This relieves me and I put away the note before heading to class.

There's nothing I'd want more than to forget homecoming but I keep getting congratulated for homecoming king. That's such a strange thing to congratulate someone on though because I barely worked for it. Nobody ever congratulates the team when we come back from winning a match and we work our asses for that. My thoughts are cut off by what my eyes accidentally catch. I stop to watch.

Gigi's looking annoyed and pushing Zack away. "Shut the fuck up." I can hear her say but no one else bats an eyes as they walk past the couple. Everyone's too busy and the hall itself is crowded. I see Zack trying to grab her hand and whisper something to her with a lazy smile. I could go there and stop it but I'm sure he wouldn't do anything. In case he does, I stand and watch the pair.

In the end, Zack doesn't do anything. But they were arguing as usual. I'd assumed that the two was over but I guess not. I bump into Gigi after Zack leaves. We both share a look and she gives me a sheepish smile with a shrug. "What are you doing, Gigi?" I ask her.

"Look, it's fine. I know." She pats my arm. "How you holding up?" She asks as we both walk to class. I open my mouth to talk but close it. I'm trying to think of a better strung sentence than what I had before. She's still looking at me and this is the first time I feel like no one's pitying me.

"I'm fine, you know?" I lamely reply to which she nods, rolling her eyes. "I mean, I don't know?" I admit to her. I can tell Gigi this because she's been a friend since forever. I can rely on her to not tell anyone. Especially Taylor. "It stung when I saw her do that but," I pause, glancing at Gigi. She's listening intently and nodding. "But, we went as friends and that's that. I guess I was jealous that my date was kissing someone else after I'd JUST won homecoming king, you know?"

She laughs quietly as I finish. "Okay, okay." Gigi drops the subject which relieves me. For the rest of time, we talk about Karlie's Halloween party. Karlie's normally not a party person but every year, without a fail, she's managed to throw a small bonfire party in her backyard. It's never a huge party but it's always Gigi, Selena, Taylor, Liam, Niall and I. Some years, we'd bring the people we were dating so Zack has come to a few but I doubt he's invited this year.



At lunch, I'm feeling hesitant on whether or not I'd want to go to the cafeteria to eat. In the end, I decide I'd rather stay at the library for today. Today will be too much. When I get to the library, I see Tay at the table where I'm heading towards. I freeze there for a couple of moments. She looks up right then. I'm staring at her and her face twists. When she waves for me to come, I melt. It's like all my worries go away and it's actually worrying how much she does this to me.

"Hey." I say, putting my backpack down. She taps her pen, watching me. I'm finally sitting down, facing her. I nod my head slowly with my eyes looking away. She does the same, licking her lips. I realise I'm staring at her lips now. I remember witnessing Trey and Taylor kissing and I slap myself awake from the memory. "Styles." Taylor finally speaks. Her eyes look focused. They look so intently at me.

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