sweet as a flower. (Joshler)

🌼 ten

A/n: mentions of Tyler's past abuse. It's brief.

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"I can't. I'm sorry." He sighed and dug through his drawer, trying to pretend he didn't see the rejection and hurt in Tyler's eyes.

"B-but-"

"Maybe later, Ty. Not now. Maybe soon, I don't know. But not now." He handed sweatpants and an oversized T shirt to Tyler.

"Wh-why??" He suddenly started hyperventilating and backing away, caving against the wall as he still remained on the dresser.

"Tyler? Baby-"

"All the other boys said I was p-pretty!! Am I... Am I not pretty?!" He seemed to come to a realization, his eyes widening, the dam finally breaking and tears pouring from his eyes at a continuous, stinging rate.

"Y-You said I was pretty!! You're my gardener, Josh! You're supposed to help me, not..."

He paused.

"Not say that I'm not good enough."

He whimpered and jumped off the dresser, pushing roughly past Josh and in the direction of the front door.

"Tyler-" He ignored Josh's pleas and slammed it, hard.

Josh groaned and sat on his bed, burying his face in his hands.

"Knock knock?" His mom spoke softly at his door, surprising enough to startling him.

"S-sorry if we woke you."

"Honey, what happened?" She sat beside him on his bed and rubbed his back gently.

"H-he... It's kind of weird telling my mom." His mom let out an airy laugh.

"Josh. How do you think you ended up here?" It took him a second before he got it, then made a face of disgust.

"Mom!"

"It's true." She chuckled. "Now, what happened, Josh? He seems very upset."

He sighed. "I could see his.. underwear the way he was laying. I suggested that he makes sure to be modest, I know it's not his fault he's been assaulted, at all, but I don't want anyone looking where they don't deserve. It.. it makes me.. Angry? A-and protective? Um...."

"Jealous?" She smiled weakly.

"Y-yeah. Dirty hands, dirty eyes, they don't deserve to be anywhere near such a beautiful flower like him. He's so pure, and kind, I just... I don't know. I want to give him the world, the sun, moon the whole galaxy, I just.. can't."

"That sounds like love to me."

Josh's eyes widened. This isn't love... Is it?

Could it? No.. Maybe?

"Is that all?"

Josh sighed and shook his head. His mom nodded to encourage that he vented.

"He said my eyes aren't dirty. Then... He grabbed my hand and set it on himself. And told me my hands aren't, either. He wanted to... But I couldn't. Not after what he's been through. Then when I said no, he got really upset and left."

"It's understandable."

"What is?"

"All those men who hurt him in the past said he was pretty, right? I heard him question it. Josh, after years of being called pretty as he was being raped probably seared into his mind, connecting lust or attraction directly to sex. He thinks you only think he's pretty if you have sex with him." Her voice cracked.

How could people really hurt such a sweet boy to this point?

"I-I never thought of it that way. What do I do??"

"Explain how you feel. Tell him sex doesn't mean love. I know it won't click right away, but someday, maybe soon, he'll understand. You'll be able to reverse what those horrible men did."

"What if he never understands?"

"Then you have to keep trying. He probably feels hurt that you're the first person he's trusted in a sexual way, and also the first to reject him."

Josh's eyes widened. How didn't he understand that?

"Go to him, Josh. Help him."

"Thank you so much, mom." She smiled and nodded, getting up and heading to bed as Josh sprinted after Tyler.

"Ty! Tyler??" He shouted over and over as he ran around the streets. He thought maybe Tyler was in the yard, or car, but he wasn't. He looked for almost an hour, with no luck. He didn't know where to look, what to do, so he sprinted home to call the police.

He barrelled through his door to jolt to a sudden stop, seeing a shivering and sleeping boy in his bed.

He sighed with relief.

He was in the same position as before, but snoring gently and wearing one of Josh's large shirts. Josh could see Tyler's panties again, but he decided the best way to not sexualize Tyler is to not sexualize his outfits.

This is okay.

He took off his jeans and switched off the light. He slid underneath the covers, looking over at the closed eyes beside him.

Tyler's so beautiful.

He gently caressed his cheek and smiled, adoring the occasional​ tiny noises Tyler made.

He got comfortable with both hands behind his head and closed his eyes. Then after a few moments, he felt half asleep Tyler scoot closer and wrap his arms around his torso, then lay his head on his chest before settling down and snoring quietly again.

He used to think the roar of the crowd after winning a game was perfection.

He used to think popularity and having so many girls lusting after him was perfection.

He used to think his life at the time was perfection.

But his life was no where near perfect, not without this. His life was so empty and boring, he knows that now.

He looked down at the top of Tyler's head as he felt his chest rise and fall against his side.

His life was nothing without Tyler.

This here, this is perfection.

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A/n: I don't have much to say.

~Trash