f o u r t y - s i x

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"EVERYTHING. Everything is wrong, Blayze. For one thing, I don't understand what's going on... And then there's me. My emotions are all over the place, my memories still haven't come back to me and I'm so... Weak."

He didn't speak, but merely looked into my eyes, as is he was trying to understand me

"What?" I snapped. From the way my mark was burning, I knew that my eyes had turned red, but Blayze seemed completely unfazed by it.

"I think I got it," he answered. "You fought with Liam, didn't you?" My entire body seemed to freeze at his question and all the anger I felt, vanished without a trace.

"How did you-"

"Weslyn," he interrupted. "Being an Alpha, isn't easy. Your emotions to go haywire, while you deal with the stress. And part of you're memories won't be restored... None of it is your fault."

I was suddenly aware of how close he was standing to me. I had been so entranced by his words, that I hadn't even noticed him moving.

"I don't know what William or any of the others said to you, but I want you to know... That you're nowhere near weak."

"But I'm not even strong enough to make my own decisions," I almost didn't recognise my voice from how feeble it sounded.

"That's where you are wrong," he murmured. "Not being able to decide doesn't make you weak... And making decisions don't make you any stronger. Some decisions are just harder to make than others. They would cause you so much pain; you would do anything to end it."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" I asked. "If I can't make a decision... I'm not the only one who will get hurt. And even if I do..."

Either way... I would lose someone; I loved.

"One way or another, someone will end up hurt, right?"

There was something about the way he spoke. It was almost as if he knew... That somehow, he had found out about the curse.

"Blayze, there's something..." I trailed off. He was even closer to me; so close that I could barely think. "About the..."

"I know."

He reached out and swept my fringe away from my face, fixating his eyes onto mine. It was entirely frozen; entranced by the reflection of my face in his strange, yet beautiful, eyes.

"I know about the Soulmate Curse," Blayze whispered. "And I know what I am to you."

I couldn't speak; his eyes were the only thing burning inside me mind.

Brown, gray, silver, bronze, black... How could someone's eyes have such conflicting colours? How did the such different colours turn to perfection when it came to him?

"And I know how I feel."

The sound of his voice made me break away from his gaze.

"Blayze, how did you..."

"I heard about it from Mary. She was telling Lucian about the curse and besides..." He paused. "There has to be a reason for how I feel about you."

"You have feelings for me?" My voice was so quiet, I didn't think he would hear me.

"I've never had feelings for anyone before, Weslyn. And maybe it was better for Brown Wolves to be that way..."

He didn't have to say anything else to make me to understand. There wasn't much of a point in falling in love if you weren't destined to live.

"But, I kept thinking about you, even when I tried not to," he told me. "I thought something was wrong with me but it was exactly the opposite." He sighed. "We're so different in many ways... Almost nothing about us is the same. But still, no one is more perfect for me, than you."

"You don't know that."

"I do, Weslyn," he answered. "I do know that you're the one for me... But the thing is, I'm not the one for you."

I stared up at him.

"You deserve to be with William."

"But, Blayze, what about you?" I asked.

"I shouldn't matter to you, Weslyn," he told me. "I came between the two of you and I'll be gone before you - just like every other Brown Wolf."

"So, I'm supposed to leave you to die?" I demanded, grabbing him by the shirt. "I would never do that to anyone; let alone, you."

"I know," he admitted. "I know you won't abandon me. Which is why... After this war is over, I'll leave Gray Valley... By myself."

All at once, I felt it.

The icy cold pain, that mercilessly stabbed at me chest. It was the overwhelming feling of loss; the sense of being helpless.

Blayze wanted to leave me.

At that moment, all I wanted to do, was to fall in his arms and break down; beg him to stay. I wanted him to promise to me that he wouldn't leave; I wanted him to stop the pain.

But there was no way any of it would happen.

"B-but the Brown Wolf Pack," I managed. "You're the next Alpha, Blayze. They need you to stay."

"I'm pretty sure you'll do a better job at it." He was calm; I was anything but. "After we defeat Lucian, take in the other Brown Wolves, like you did for Anna and Bryan." My eyes prickled with tears. "Be their Alpha... For me."

"Blayze..."

"After all, you were born for it."

When I forced back my tears and stared up at him, I saw that he was smiling back...

And that was what finally broke me.

For the first time in forever... I let the tears flow.

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