The Big Secret

Pep Rally Blues

Walking into the Gym I looked around looking for Landon and Corey. I found them in the bleachers and thankfully it was on the side of the court with mostly people I do like. Walking to the middle of the bleachers and to Corey and Landon. Corey's brother was hanging with the basketball team and he looked happy. Like he belonged there. 

"So what was that all about?" Landon asked when I sat next to him so now he was in between me and Corey.

"Well. I just ended my damn there four year relationship with the man that I love because he's too selfish and insecure to come out and say that he's in a relationship with me." I said shrugging my shoulders and leaning on Landon.

"Awwww babe. I'm sorry." He said leaning his head on my head.

"It's Ok I guess. I mean I'm sad but let's be honest it had to be done or I was gonna be his big secret forever." I said then I looked at the Gym doors to see Micah walking in. He didn't show any kind of emotion and for a second I felt bad, but I let it go because I was hurting just as bad as he was over this. Only difference is I've been hurting for the past four years.

"Well I see he didn't take it well" Corey said. She moved to the other side of me and was leaning on me, so now I was in the middle.

"He didn't really want to end it, but he didn't really want to come out and say we were together either. So something had to give and I'm tired of feeling stupid over him." I said and I could feel myself getting a little too emotional and I can't get caught crying. At least not by the kids here.

"Well the only thing that will make this a little better is Wendy's. So Wendy's it is after school." Landon said.

"Yup. Wendy's it is after school." I said sadly, nodding my head making his head move.

"Awww boo. It's gonna be OK. We're here for you" Corey said rubbing my arm.

"I don't know guys. I mean I really love that boy and I feel like he just don't see that shit you know."

"Well, sooner than later he's gonna see your worth and he's gonna change his whole situation around. I guess now all we can do is wait it out and see. I'd say we should go to parties and do all that fun shit teenagers do." Landon said.

"I'm with it. But I'm not gone be waiting around for him forever. I love him, but I love me more and I can't continue to let him hurt me. I can't keep doing that to myself. I feel dumb and I know I look dumb to you guys and him and everybody else is oblivious to the whole situation, which I guess now is a good thing."

"Rayne you don't look dumb your just in love. I guess I understand where your coming from." Corey said.

"Awwww little old Corey was love sick" Landon said then laughed.

"It may sound unbelievable but its true. But he cheated on me with a cheerleader at our school. And had the fucking nerve to ask her to be his girlfriend at one of the pep rally's. That's why I don't like this shit." She said. I rubbed her thigh cause what happened to her was worst than whats happening to me.

"I'm sorry boo. He didn't deserve you if he treated you like that. Its his lost." Landon said.

"I mean whats so great about cheerleaders that girls like us get pushed to the side for them?" She said.

"They'll open their mouths and lay on their backs faster. Not every cheerleader does but a good portion of them do. Girls like that give actual good cheerleaders bad names. Its actually sad." I said shaking my head.

"I know. Back in Texas I had a couple of friends who cheered and they were really good. Even thought about being on an all-star team, but after that situation I dropped everybody. I guess I took it harder than I thought. I just didn't want their sympathy and sad faces whenever I saw them. I hate that shit." She said making us laugh. 

"Well I hate it too so please don't do it." I said sitting up straight.

"Girl I would smack the fuck out of you for crying before I feel sad for you. I mean depending on what it is. But for this I would smack your ass before I hug your ass for being a simp." He said. We laughed at him and I knew he was serious.

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The rally was finally over and I was just ready to go to Wendy's then go home. I saw the glances Micah passed my way and I'm not gone lie I just wanted to run to him and kiss him and let him know that I'm proud of him, I support him, and that we'll get better and we'll always be together, but I know I can't do that.

At times I feel that this is my fault. That I let it get this far, and never made an attempt to stop it. I love Micah with all of my heart, but I felt like it was about time I made a decision for me. Hopefully Micah can come to full terms with that and understand where I'm coming from.

I was in the library doing some homework for my classes so when I get home I don't have to worry about it. The rally took up a whole class period, so we only had 2 more classes left.

"Hey, Rayne I need your help with something real quick." Bryson said running up to me out of breath.

"B, you could've just walked to the library. Why are you running?" I said moving my backpack from the chair next to me so he can sit down.

"I walked all over this whole damn campus looking for you. You the only one I know can help me with this shit. I need help with this essay. Its for a scholarship, and for one of my college applications." He said pulling some papers out of his bag and putting them in front of me.

"B, your backpack look a hot ass mess." I said grabbing the papers so I can read them.

"All my stuff fell out of my backpack while I was running, so I just hurried up and stashed everything in there. I didn't have time to fix it." He said taking the stuff out of his backpack and fixing it back to the way it was.

"The essay is good. You stayed on topic and its organized. We just need to replace some of these words, because a lot of them become repetitive and they're elementary words." I said pulling out my phone and going to the dictionary to look up synonyms for some of the words.

"Aye thanks Rayne man you really helped me out. I was losing my shit over this damn essay." He said.

"Well I'm always here. You know you can count on me." I said smiling at him.

"So you coming to practice today. You know we got the big game tomorrow." He said putting his stuff back in his backpack.

"I'm not gone make it to practice today, but I'm gonna be at the game. On the field where I'm usually at." I said.

"Yeah cause you know you're our good luck charm."He said laughing.

"Yeah and y'all wouldn't win any kind of games without me." I said.

"Yeah whatever Rayne. I gotta run but I'll see you later. Thanks again Rayne." He said giving me a hug then walking out of the library.

I watched him walk out and from the corner of my eye I saw someone staring at me. I looked and it was Micah and he looked upset. He walked over to me and sat where Bryson was.

"So you messing with Bryson now?" He said. His fist were rolled up and his face was all scrunched up.

"Micah. Why do you care who I'm messing with. One that's none of your business and two for information no I'm not messing with Bryson. If you must know I was helping him with an essay." I said then got up and left before he could say something else.

Crazy ass