you drove me home today
in utter silence
and it was not the
comforting
warm silence
that we could just
sink into
it was the cold
rigid
tense sort of
silence
that fixed my poor
posture
and in the silence
i found myself thinking
of ways
to apologize
for the ways
you have wronged me
but then
these thoughts
were quickly silenced
by my prayers
of your
pretty car
to crash
or for a
man to
manifest from the shadows
and threaten
to slit my
throat
so that
disaster may
bring us
back together
the way the
books say it should be
and i have been
so normalized to this thinking
of radical
ideas
and extremities
of
good and very very bad
that
i had lost
all sense
as to how
sick
sick
sick
you made my
mind.
-n.c
