everything started off well
i was happy
you were happy
you made me happy
it was simple
and pure
but i was vulnerable and naive
and stupidly let
my guard down
and went against promises
that i made
to myself
how was i supposed to know that
sweet
i love you's and
2 a.m phone calls
were going to turn into something
so
toxic
how was i supposed to know that i
would turn fearful
of your reactions
because your temper turned so short
and became
unpredictable
and i was fearful
of what you would do
to yourself
if i didn't give you
exactly what you wanted
i felt as if i was at fault
for the bruises, you left on your own skin
alongside the ones you left on my wrist
your name now
leaves a bitter taste
in my mouth
i thought that i could
shove my own ache to the side
and try
to be ok
but i couldn't
the blame is on
my shoulders
and my shoulders alone
for thinking that
i could.
-n.c
