You & him

24; Problems that can't be avoided

"Is this what you use to take all that crusty stuff off your face?" Ben chuckled while walking over to me with makeup wipes in his hand. I was sitting on my bed with my legs crossed, tears still rolling down my cheeks, but somehow I still managed to smile when Ben spoke.

He raised the makeup wipe to my face and started to wipe away the mascara streaks and the smudged eyeliner. He even wiped away the messed up lipstick that was on my chin. I was such a wreck right now that it seemed horrible for me to be like this. I was coming to the realization that Ben was right. That maybe all Colton wanted was sex.

         "I think you were right. About Colton" I said, looking at my folded hands in my lap. I sniffed, thinking about the events of the night. About events I wish never happened. Ben didn't answer. "I never did thank you for helping me..." I trailed off, thinking of what would've happened if Ben didn't come. I sighed and let a frown cross my lips, ultimately embarrassed.

"You should probably change into comforter clothes" Ben said while throwing me some sweatpants from my bottom drawer and a sweatshirt from the closet. He was still shirtless, and it didn't look like he was going to make any effort to not be. Either way, my eyes were glued to him.  "I'll be down stairs making some food. You look hungry" He said before heading off down the stairs.

I sat there, changing into my pajamas and tossing the ripped shirt to the side. I couldn't even begin to believe what happened. Was this the end? It all hurt so bad that I didn't even want to think of the possibility that we were over for good. The whole idea wasn't what I wanted. 

I bowed my head in my hands and started to cry. Pitiful, I know. But I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my eyes and landing on the fabric of my blankets.  Life was so unfair.

Ben came back upstairs a couple minutes later with a tray of chicken nuggets in his hands.  I forced a smile as he catapulted on the bed next to me, throwing a bottle of ranch dressing by the tray.

     "Wanna watch a movie or a show?" He asked while grabbing the remote.  From my bed stand. I looked at his face, a small barely visible bruise was forming on his chin.  I reached my hand up to his face, gently holding it in my hand.

    "Ben I'm so sorry" I said with a sniffle. I felt awful, and I felt like a piece of shit. How could I have been so stupid to go to that party? It was obviously because I trusted him.. I trusted Colton. Could I even do that anymore?

   "Libs, I'm fine. Trust me. It's just a small bruise that will go away in a couple days. Besides, you should see the other guy" He said with a chuckle, although I could tell he was just trying to make me smile. In a way, he succeeded. But the painful truth was still knocking on my door, and sooner than later I would have to open it.

After we finished the chicken nuggets I laid down beside him, turned the lights off and snuggled into his chest. He was so warm and firm that I couldn't stop the palm of my hands from coming to a stop on his chest. My head resting on his chest as well. I'm not sure if this makes any sense, but right now I felt safer than anything. Next to Ben, the boy I called my best friend.

"You're okay. Right?" Ben asked with a gulp. I nodded my head.

"I'm okay." I said. Because honestly, the door that I was supposed to open, would have to remain closed for now. Opening it seemed to painful, too hard. I wasn't ready for that.

Being in Ben's arm was enough. I didn't need Colton to be here. I didn't need him. Not now anyways.

              *•*•*•*•*•*

The morning light flooded into my room at 9:00 am. Ben was still beside me, fast asleep.

He looked hot when he slept.

Wait. What?

I shook the thought away as I looked at him. I looked at his soft cheek and smiled. His sharp jawline was so sharp I thought it might cut me if I touched it.  For a while I laid there, admiring him and how soft his hair looked. He was a gift from the God above, and I suddenly began to wonder if this is how Reagan felt when she woke up next to him. Jealousy coursed through my bones.

I heard footsteps coming up the stairs outside of my closed door, but I didn't think anything of it. Probably just my brother walking downstairs for the first time in ages. I turned to face Ben, looking more closely at his chin.

     "Elizabeth - I'm so sor-" The door had swung open with a well-groomed Colton on the other side, a black eye on his left. Flowers in his hand and a tux on his body. "I-" He started to say, but he must of lost words as Ben instantly sat up - completely shirtless and messy hair.

I was speechless, unable to explain what he had just walked in on. Nothing happened, but I find it hard for him to believe such a thing, especially when I scrambled out of bed.

    "Colton, I can explain. Nothing happened, I swear-" I began, but Colton stopped me mid sentence. His face was a dark frown, and a scrunched up nose that made him look like he was in unbearable pain.

      "Nothing happened? You expect me to believe that when Ben's in your bed? With no shirt?! Bullshit" He said, turning around and making his way down the stairs. I followed, my heart pumping out of control. This can't be happening.

     "Colton! We just slept. I'm not making anything up, just trust me" I said helplessly. I grabbed his arm, trying to get him to stop walking out the door. "Stop!" I yelled, tears starting to stream down my face.

     "How am I supposed to trust you. Especially after you left me at that party. Without my keys. Turns out you were more than happy to have sex with you best friend instead of you boyfriend. Whatever bitch" He said harshly. The words hurt more than any wound a knife could've caused. I couldn't breathe.

   "I didn't have sex with him!! Can't you just trust me?!" I cried, trying desperately to get him to stay.  For some reason all my efforts seemed useless when his dark cold eyes looked at me, pain embedded in his irises. 

      "I honestly don't know. Last night, all I wanted was to take a drink. One drink. One drink is all I wanted, and I wanted you. I wanted you to realize how much I loved you, but instead you're over here loving someone else. How can I expect to believe you? Please, just tell me how"  He asked, surprisingly very calmly. I looked at him, dumbfounded.

    "I don't know. You just have to trust me on this" I said, unable to think of anything else. Colton shook his head, doubt was obviously visible.

        "Me or him. You decide" Colton said. And then he left after throwing the flowers on the ground and stomping on them.

He left the house, slamming the door behind him. He left me standing there in tears.

When I went upstairs, my window was open wide. I guess Ben had left too.

I guess I had to open the door now. I had to start thinking of what I was going to do. It was time to stop avoiding my problems and face them, maybe even give them a black eye in the process.