i'll be there | cyan [c]

♕ | clairvoyant

It was like watching an abused puppy cower away from someone trying to help it. It isn't like Spencer and I were close friends- sure, we got coffee a few times. But it was actually upsetting to see how terrified he'd become of even his own shadow.

Ryan had curled up at the foot of the bed, having shifted entirely into the form of a fox. Petting animals calmed people down, and, apparently, demons as well. Spencer was fidgeting with Ryan's ears, silent.

"Do you want to talk about it..?" I asked as gently as I could. Spencer opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He winced, shifted, gasped sharply from some sort of pain, and kept quiet.

After awhile, I reached a hand out to pet Ryan. When my hand brushed Spencer's, I froze; it was like I had gone straight into a dream.

Walking down the street, being cornered by someone who's face was too much a blur for me to see. The only words on my mind were 'I'm going to die.' And that was when I realized that this obviously wasn't my own memory; I was seeing the world from Spencer's perspective. What had happened to him. Or, a really blurred version of it.

Getting shoved back against the wall, the feeling of dread and fear washing over me. I can only imagine it was worse for Spencer. I could hear screaming, sobbing, begging that wasn't my own. Spencer's voice; "Please, no-" And someone else, a woman with a cold voice; "It's too late for pleas, Spencer Charnas. This is what happens to lowly demon scum like yourself, vile creatures who feed off of fear."

"It isn't my fault I was born this way! You can't do this. It isn't legal. I know my rights."

"Tell me, demon; where can I find the clairvoyant?"

"I don't know." Spencer had said, but it felt like a lie, somehow.

"Tell me, and I will spare you."

"I don't know! This isn't legal-"

And then a light so fucking bright I felt blind. Screaming, struggling. The feeling of fear had increased, and everything stopped. I snapped back to reality, Spencer gripping my hands. His eyes were wide. Part of me wanted to see what he had seen, but it had been Spencer who, just now, pulled me out of his memory. It must have been terrible.

He said nothing, but looking into his eyes, it was like reading a book. My memories of terrifying others were directed back at me, a thousand times worse. Am I really that disgusting? I can't change what I am, please, just kill me? It hurts so terribly.

I bit my tongue, hard. "Spencer, I-" I started to say. He winced and let my hands go, looking away and closing his eyes.

     "It takes a lot to scare a fear demon half to death. He wont talk to me, but you're welcome to try and get something out of him. I couldn't heal his wounds.."

     No wonder, I thought, that she couldn't heal him. How do you scare a fear demon half to death? Why, how else than to take every fear they've ever shown others and replay everything back at them, all at once, a thousand times worse than they remember it? What can scare a demon of fear, aside from being the one afraid for once?

     Poor Spencer.

     It hit me, then; he knew. He knew what I could do, even when no one else- not even myself,- did. "Tell me, demon; where can I find the clairvoyant?" "I don't know."

     My heart beat fast. He could have potentially avoided getting hurt. He could have saved himself and sold me the fuck out. But he didn't.

     "Spencer," I started to say.

     He shot me a glance and before I had a chance to do a damn thing about it, he had used the barb at the end of his tail to slash his wrists, and then his throat. Hopefully, demons don't die as easy as humans..

     I was moving before I was even aware of it, screaming for Ashley and trying to stop the bleeding. "No- No, fuck! Why?" My eyes were wide. Ryan had scampered off to get help.

     The thought that whatever that angel showed him terrified him enough to make his hair go white was scary enough. But the fact it made him- a demon,- want to kill himself? That's.. words can't describe how terrifying that is.

     Spencer was gagging, coughing and choking on his own blood, by now. And it's all my fault. "No, no, no,-" I whispered, shaking my head. "No, dammit!"

     The door flung open again, Ashley storming into the room.

     Thank fuck.