Cotton Candy Deer

Shock

Sehun had slumped down to his knees, sitting on the ground, his head hanging down. His facial expression couldn’t be seen, due to his hair, that was hanging down, falling like a curtain, covering his face. Analyzing the situation Luhan could figure out a slight bump in the wall. He wondered about if this had been the noise that made him flinch for a short moment, then he hurried over to Sehun from whose lips broke a sob. That couldn’t be possible, Sehun wasn’t the person to just start crying. Still madly worried Luhan crouched down next to the younger one. He didn’t even dare to touch him but he really just wanted to comfort him and hug him, he didn’t even know what was going on but it almost broke his heart to see him sitting there on the ground, his silver hair hiding his face.

Not even paying attention to the boy next to him, Sehun still sat on his knees. He couldn’t help but to sob. This all had been too much. The only thing he wanted was Luhan to stay. He wanted to ask him, not to leave and to just never go away again but he knew that this would never be reality. Everyone leaves, he kept reminding himself. No one bothers to stay.
This was something that had overwhelmed him. His own feelings. He hadn’t been able to deal with them, almost never. He always was pushing them away, since he could remember. He simply didn’t want to get this attached to anyone. For sure not Luhan. He was so adorable, Sehun just wanted to embrace him and never let him go and protect him. But no. he wouldn’t allow himself to feel like that. He wouldn’t accept it. He wouldn’t admit it.
Now he was sitting here. Unable to stop tears running down his cheeks, swiftly dropping onto the floor. Yet he didn’t care about anything anymore. Everything was meaningless. He'd admit everything. He didn’t want to be on his own anymore. He wanted someone to lean on just for once. He wanted to feel needed and special. He wanted to be all that to Luhan.
And from all that pressure that was lasting on him, this weight on his shoulders crashing him down, further and further. He couldn’t stay strong anymore and play his cold attitude. He was tired of that. Exhausted. Yet he could do nothing but silently cry.

Seeing Sehun like that made Luhan feel like his heart just was being ripped out of his chest. He wanted to see the true self of Oh Sehun, yes. But more like he wanted to bring out his smile and wanted to hear him laugh. It was painful to see him like that. The always so strong boy sat there, crying.
He didn’t even know what to say, neither why he was doing what he did but moved in front of Sehun and slowly he raised his hand towards Sehuns face. With a smooth move he swiped away the fair hair out of Sehuns sight, looking at him with a mix of concern and love. Then he quietly pulled the younger one closer to himself and hugged him. It slightly surprised him that he didn’t feel Sehun fighting back, instead he could feel him wrapping his arms around Luhans waist and how he shifted his head to the crook of Luhans neck.

They remained like that for quite a long time. When Luhan could feel the breathing of the other boy, who still remained in his arms, slow down and become more frequent, he slightly pulled back. Just to see that Sehun had fallen asleep.
His expression was now soft again and Luhan smiled, slightly brushing some of his silver-shining hair away from his forehead, then he carefully lifted him up, again concerned about how light the younger boy was and with slow movements, careful to not wake the sleeping Sehun, he walked over to the bed. He decided to lay him down there and just let him get some sleep. After he had placed Sehun on the bed, Luhan wiped away the remaining tears from the other ones cheeks and turned around to leave the room. He had thought about going to the grocery store alone, since Sehun could sure need some sleep, he thought. He would stay and support Sehun. He would help him. He wanted to see his smile and hear his laugh, just for one time. That was what he was aiming for and yet it already was his number one priority. To make Oh Sehun happy again. To make him feel alive again, he wanted to show him what life still holds in for him.

As Sehun opened his eyes again, his memories were blurry and he couldn’t quite remember why he was in his bed or what time it even was. After he had glanced out of the window, where he could see the sun almost setting, he considered it to already be about 5PM. Why would he be asleep at this time of the day?
Slowly sitting up he ruffled his grey hair, swiping it out of his vision. Quickly narrowing his eyebrows, he wondered about why a sharp pain shot through his fingers, beginning in his knuckles. When his glance had arrived at the wall, where he could see the bump, where he crashed his fist again earlier. He could partly remember what had been going on earlier. He had lost control over himself. He groaned and as he had gotten out of his bed, another part of his memory flashed to his mind. After he had sunken to the floor.. The only thing he could really remember now was himself crying, in the arms of Luhan. With a mix of embarrassment and anger at himself for not being able to control his feelings in front of any person. It wasn’t even any person. It had been Luhan.

As he was quite sure that Luhan was gone, Sehun laughed to himself in a bitter way. Sure he wasn’t there anymore. He would make sure that nothing like that would happen again.
Making his way downstairs, Sehun realised that he still was wearing nothing but his underwear. Though he didn’t bother to get dressed. Giving an annoyed when he saw that the lights downstairs were still burning, he had reached the living room. He couldn’t even turn off the lights before leaving the house like that? He'd have to pay all that! Quickly turning off the lights that weren’t needed yet, Sehun continued his way to the kitchen. He could hear his stomach grumbling and after arriving in the kitchen he plopped down on one of the chairs. He hadn’t had a breakdown like that in ages and neither had he been crying, so after letting all that suppressed tears out he felt pretty exhausted and was again craving to sleep, even though he just had gotten up. Also he could feel a headache coming up, like someone would rapidly smash a hammer against his head. With a muffled sigh he grabbed his head and pressed onto his temples, slowly massaging them he hoped that would lessen the pain but unluckily it only got worse.