What About Us

CULPABILITY | TWENTY-SIX

I've really been feeling Tobias' point of view lately. So, you may see his perspective more very soon. But, I know I've given a whole spill on me giving bigger updates. But, this time isn't the right time because it's almost 11 where I am from and I am tired as hell. I've also had  a busy day, my 'guyfriend' *smirk face* broke his toe and we had to take him to a hospital. At least I kept through with my schedule and I pray that the next chapter will be bigger. Until Monday! My fellow friends! ON TO THE CHAPTER!

[Tris] 

"One more month to go, Beatrice." My doctor smiles at me as he continues to smear the gel on my belly, that seems to look like it's going to burst very soon. This pregnancy wasn't planned and sure as hell wasn't needed, but each day when I feel my son kick me and now to see him in the computer, his little hands expanding and closing again makes my heart swell and get ready for his arrival, "Your baby will soon be here, any names?" 

"Itsy!" London screeches beside Tobias in the plastic chair and Camryn looks at her older sister and bursts out laughing. I swear, she thinks that she's the funniest thing ever. Camryn finally knows that there is going to be a baby here soon and all of a sudden it's like she's realized that I am actually pregnant and cannot stop looking at my belly. When I feed them lunch sometimes during the weekends or breakfast in the morning, I catch her staring intently at my belly. Then, when I let her feel him kick she pulled her hand back with so much shock. Luckily, I got to record it and send it to my friends and family, including Tobias since he wasn't there. 

I swear, he's never around anymore and it's kind of hurtful. The kids ask about 'daddy' all the time but he's told me that a lot of new stuff and issues are coming to the surface at his job. I trust him with my life, so I give him that time to get stuff straight at his job. Even though it would be great to just fall asleep and not only at night. 

"Itsy?" Dr. Parrish laughs handing me a towel to wipe off my stomach, I sit up and pull down my shirt past my jeans and Tobias helps swing my body off of the bed while having Camryn on his hip. 

I roll my eyes playfully at him, "She's been calling him Itsy since she came to the last ultrasound." I mutter, widening my eyes at him and he gives a deep chuckle. Some guidelines are given to me before we leave and we decide to get some food at a local restaurant called, Bandera. It takes about 20 minutes to get seated and I get some ginger ale since I've been battling with heartburn and I get the girls some juice. When our food arrives and the kids are too distracted into their food I gain Tobias' attention. 

"What's wrong with you?" I question, furrowing my eyebrows. 

"Nothing." He grunts, sipping his water and giving me a smile that doesn't quite look like him, "Why do you ask?" 

I shrug my shoulders, picking around my fries, "I don't know, you just haven't been the same." I subtly clear my throat, "Is there something wrong? Are you nervous for the baby?" 

"Nope. I'm ready for my son to get here. I've just been. . . stressed out lately." I nod my head, not satisfied with my answer as I continue to pick over my food, my appetite gone and my mood dampened. The baby can obviously sense something is wrong by the way he gives me a hard kick on the underside of my belly that nearly sends me jolting across the table. I just grit through the pain and shake my body. 

"What's wrong?" Concern filling Tobias' eyes. For the first time, he's been so into his own thoughts that I am surprised that he can even pay me some attention. I shake my head and lean into the seat, him obviously not satisfied with my answer and sighs. The rest of our lunch goes by quiet and when London says she needs to potty I take her. When I come back the food is paid for and Tobias helps me with the stuff to get to the car. 

+++ 

[Tobias] 

I watch her through the backyard patio door. The kids are passed out on the couch and she has her hands on her lower back, pacing across the living room her head thrown back. She's been complaining about small pains in her lower belly but she just tells me their something about a hickey or a man named Braxton. I don't know. I hate seeing her like this because I know I am causing her this stress. But, the coward in me can't man up and just tell the love of my life what's been going on. 

"That's messed up man." Zeke's voice rings through the phone on my ear. I had to call my bestfriend because keeping this inside me was like swallowing a match and just letting it burn inside me forever. It's eating me alive. I can just her the disappointment in his tone, "I like Tris. She's the best girlfriend, fiance, whatever you want to call it, that you've had in a long time. You can't just treat her like this." 

I sigh, "I know man." I've dropped all physical contact with Ophelia, I haven't seen her in person since two weeks ago when I kissed her. She sends me texts every now and then that I don't open and she is starting to get the memo that I don't want to talk to her anymore, "I just can't tell her right now. Tris would kill me and I'd rather keep it to myself. Tris has been hurt by Eric before and you know that, I am trying to not hurt her because then it's like she can't trust anybody." 

"You have to tell her. Or else she is going to be livid." The line is silent for a while, "You have to realize that your semen inside her has created a child, a whole human being. So, she can't afford for any slip ups like this. You aren't a kid anymore and you need to man up." Zeke is right and this is really the first couple of times that he has made sense. 

I look back at her again, she looks out towards me but since it's dark outside she can't really see me. Her face turns into a frown and I swear it's the saddest thing that I've ever seen. My heart shatters right there as sadness forms on her face and she waddles her way to the back. How can I do this to such a lovely person?