What About Us

STARTLED | TWENTY-SEVEN

[Tobias]

I stare at her features intently. My friends used to curse me out for me always staring at people and things. It's how I learn about people's features and moods. The way her nose curves slightly at the end, the way her dark blonde eyebrows furrow together, her natural rosy pink lips pursed together and the rise of her chest as she takes a deep breath.

My hand slips down to her belly where my first son lays there content. Her shirt rises above her belly button, she giggles in her sleep and I can't help but to smile at her. She's so lovely and like the best thing that has happened to me. She knows how to make me smile. It's like she took my mask off and let's me be myself in front of her.

The movement of the baby under my fingertips brings me back to reality as he lightly kicks at my hand. Obviously he kicks harder than expected because Tris grunts slightly and stirs in her sleep, her tired eyes meeting mines.

"What time is it?" She turns on her back, throwing the covers off of her and covers her eyes with her hands. Time for me to tell you the truth.

"10:34." I say glancing at the clock, "Tris, baby, I need to talk to you."

The seriousness in my voice catches her attention and she sits up, staring at me intently, "You're thinking about dropping out of the wedding?" She says sadly staring down at her hands, "Its okay if you don-"

"No, not at all," I take a deep breath and as soon as I start rambling off at the mouth, the door opens to the bedroom and in waddles Camryn with London following behind her holding her hands.

"Ma-Ma!" Camryn giggles when she sees Tris. Tris smiles brightly at her kids and lifts Camryn in her arms, kissing all over her face while London climbs in the bed beside me, greeting me with a hug and kiss. I don't know how to feel about the interruption— happy that I don't have to face my pregnant and hormonal fiancé or pissed that I had the chance and couldn't follow through.

"Good morning, cam-bam!" She squeezes her daughter in her arms and turns to London who smiles and scoots towards her, "Can I have a hug?"

"I'm hungry mommy." London complains. I knew something was up with her, anytime she wants something she doesn't say much until she finally asks her question.

Tris stands up with a little grunt, her shirt falling past her pants and she tucks a curly piece of hair back up into her bun, "What is it that you wanted to tell me?" She looks back at me and I swear that I lose all blood in my body and I become pale and break into a cold sweat, by just one look. I was so close to telling her and now I am terrified to break her heart because of my stupid and inconsiderate mistakes.

"Nothing, I'll talk to you later." I stand up, "Let's get some food in these girls bellies!"

+++

"You. Are. A. Dead. Man." Zeke reminds me for the nth time. I swear, if you want to feel bad about something, just go around Zeke because he will keep talking about it until you fix your problems, "You have your semen inside of her, a child, you don't have to be backing out because you are scared. Your future is with her, I don't know what else to tell you." He wipes down the bar with his rag and starts to make a drink for a guy who just sat down beside me. I love coming here with reduced drink prices and nice music I can just be in my thoughts. This bar isn't too rowdy, more for older people I guess that's how Zeke get a lot of money and can look at this for a lifetime job.

I roll my eyes and sip my scotch, "I just had to get out of the house because it was like the walls were closing in on me." I remember sitting on the couch with the girls in the living room. I was watching TV while Tris was on her phone and the girls were simultaneously watching television and playing dolls, sitting there with the noise of the TV and giggling of the kids I had to get out of there.

"That my friend is called, guilt."

I sit in the bar and talk to Zeke until I decide to go home, I pay my tab and give him a tip before going home. I need to tell Tris as soon as possible and just get the burning guilt off of my chest. I pull into the driveway and I run inside the house, when I push open the door I see Eric and Tris sitting on the couch and I stop dead in my tracks.