warning. (:
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there's nothing in this hospital room but bland painted walls, plain white bed sheets and a bittersweet silence. minutes crawl by like years. i slump despondently against the rock solid seat at the edge of the bed. voices ring through my mind, only a mere reminder of what's to come. the blunt honesty of the doctor's words repeat over and over it again. it doesn't stop. i don't want to listen. i don't want to believe it.
"i'm sorry, vik." my voice is racked with a sob, tears fall and stain the fabric of the bed sheets. he's pale. so sickeningly pale, and his breathing is shallow and brittle as if it could break any second now. you didn't have to look twice to tell that vik is dying. he's going, there's nothing to bring him back.
i feel frail yet familiar fingers lace around mine. his soft chocolate eyes lay upon me, still as sincere and loving as they always have been. "no," he whispers softly. but his sickly voice is quivering. he's barely holding it together. "you've done nothing wrong, si." there's another heartbreaking pause: i can't bare to look vik in the eyes. not at this moment.
"i should've been stronger for you," i respond faintly, my sentence hardly a whisper. the light is leaving his alluring eyes, once full of life. the warmth is slowly fading from what's left of his smile.
"you don't have to be anything to me except yourself." he gives my hand a reassuring squeeze which only makes matter worse because any movement costs him the last of his life and energy. that shouldn't be wasted on me. my thumb grazes across his hand. i've run out of tears by now, and my eyes are so tired that even blinking was too much of an effort for me.
when i received news that vik was struggling and his condition was only getting worse by the minute, i've hardly left this seat by his side.
"i can't lose you. i can't-" my words are cut short by a hysterical sob of grief. my arms guide itself around vik and i hold him close. he doesn't say anything, just stays silent in my embrace. he's cold, practically lifeless. this will be his last moment, his final words and last memories.
"you know i wouldn't rather be anywhere else," vik says with a small grin. "i belong here, in your arms."
we fall so silent that i can hear the sound of my heart shattering. and there's nobody to pick up the pieces. the past countless months have been like this. holding him close, so utterly terrified that i'd lose him that i wouldn't let go. and now, it's final. he was always so hopeful and optimistic. i'd give more than anything for him to be back to how he was just a year ago, sweet and innocent, without a care in the world.
but his cancer had gotten so serious that he was hospitalised for the last ten months or so. and i would visit him so much that they would have to drag me out by hand. i can't leave his side, not forever. it's not right.
i heave a shaky sigh, my eyes dried of tears and my mouth drained of any last words. instead we're here, in each other's arms for the last time. like vik always wanted. "simon..."
i look up at him, desperate that this second would not be his last. surely's there's more time. this has happened before and he's survived it. because he's strong. but i see the lifelessness in his brown eyes and all the hope i've ever had vanishes within a millisecond. "i love you."
i glance wistfully at the monitor. his pulse is decreasing. "i love you too. i always have and i always will." i let out a shriek of despair and anguish as i feel vik fall limp and still in my arms. the monitor flatlines.
x
sorry i'm not a doctor idfk how death works. but nonetheless, i hope you enjoyed!!! it was short but whatever.
