Kill Our Way to Heaven (Jikook) ✔

Chapter 40

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 40
"ʀᴇᴍɪɴɪꜱᴄᴇɴᴄᴇ"

His vision was blurry when he first opened his eyes. It was only after a moment later that he realised what the high-pitched squeak had been that had woken him up. Even though he felt like he was forcibly tearing his eyes open he looked around. The sheets under his fingers felt soft, as did the pillow pressing into his cheek. It took him a moment to realise he was at Yoongi's house. The elder had taken him there after he had found him in the alleyway. Slowly the painful memories started to resurface. Jungkook simply shook his head and tried to focus on the matters at hand. His eyes were still heavy and sticky when his gaze fell on the man in front of the small wardrobe on the other side of the room.

His bare back was facing Jungkook, his front facing the open drawer in front of him. At first, Jungkook thought that his eyes were playing tricks on him, that sleep was still too heavy in his mind, but the more his gaze focussed, the clearer it got. Yoongi's back was littered with scars. Deep gashes and scratches, almost as if a wild animal had carved into his skin over and over again, were pressed into his flesh. The ran from his lower back, disappearing under his pants, all the way up to his shoulders. Faint marks were apparent on his arms as well, five spots next to each other, almost as if he had been pinned down. 

In the midst of all the white gashes littering his skin, there were two that stood out. They were darker than the others and instead of pressing inwards, they pressed outwards. Right on top of his shoulder blades, they were a painful reminder of what once had been there.

"What happened to you?" Jungkook asked in a hoarse and careful voice. The elder visibly stiffened at the sudden noise of the younger sitting up.

"I got stabbed in the back, I told you," Yoongi said quickly slipping on a shirt. He turned around, making an effort to pull the fabric down further.

"That doesn't look like a stab," Jungkook simply stated, not sure how to reply to the elder's remarks. Yoongi just chuckled.

"Yeah, it really doesn't," he said. 

The moment of silence seemed like a blessing and a curse to him. It gave him time to think but also added to the pressure slowly building in the room. Jungkook wasn't sure whether he should simply ask, or wait for Yoongi to start talking himself. He didn't want to upset the elder, but his curiosity had been killing him. He hadn't gotten any answers from his mother, but maybe Yoongi would be of more help.

"Will you ever truly tell me what happened?" Jungkook asked carefully, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Yoongi could hear the pain in the younger's tone, just giving him a sad smile before sitting down at the end of the bed.

"There are some things that I can't tell. You have to find those out when times are better and you aren't in so much danger," Yoongi said. Jungkook was ready to drop his head before the elder spoke again. "But I guess I can tell you part of my story."

Jungkook could see how he got smaller, obviously uncomfortable with speaking those words. He could hear the sadness in his tone, but the elder still gave him a reassuring smile. "Please," Jungkook simply said.

Yoongi took a deep breath before talking. "I was an angel once, in case you hadn't figured yet. And when I was growing up, there was this boy. He was also an angel and we were very good friends. The type that would help each other through anything and everything," the elder explained. Jungkook couldn't help but let a small smile tug at his lips. As he sat up straighter he could see a similar smile on Yoongi's face. It melted like a light before darkness.

"But he got tempted by a demon. I tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen," he explained. Leaning backwards, he gulped. Even though he tried to hide it, it was painfully obvious to Jungkook. "He would leave every now and then. He'd say he had to go to Earth and every time he would stay away longer until he didn't come back at all. He just disappeared."

It was silent for a moment before Yoongi started talking again. "We all knew he wasn't on Earth anymore. He had been dragged down to Hell," he said. "I didn't want to lose him. He just mattered too much to me. So I followed him down, tried to get him back."

Jungkook tried not to notice how the elder's lips trembled and how he tried to cover it up with a cough before speaking again. "But when I got there, he didn't want to go with me. He was so brainwashed, he just didn't want to go back from Heaven. He told me to leave, I said no. He told me that if I wouldn't leave he'd fight me and rip my wings out because I was an enemy to him."

Jungkook flinched at the words. He couldn't imagine what it was like having your bones ripped out of your body, being robbed of your grace at the same time. The pain in the elder's eyes and his uncomfortable hand gestures were enough to make his mind wander to dark places. "I guess you can imagine what happened next. I'll spare you the gory details," Yoongi said, pulling the human out of his mind.

The stinging pain in his back was still fresh on his mind. Even though it was years ago he still felt those demons clawing at his back, mauling him to pieces until the only colour he could see was red. Feathers littered the ground, none of them were the colour they used to be, the colour he grew up with and loved so very dearly. He could remember his tears dropping onto the ground together with him. He remembered every movement hurting as he crawled his way back out of Hell. And he remembered passing out an infinite amount before reaching his destination, being stuck in a continuous loop of immortality.

"After that, I went to Earth. I was pretty much scraping death at that point. To everyone's surprise, including my own, I survived. I didn't want to have anything to do with demons and angels ever again, so I stayed here," Yoongi concluded.

Jungkook opened his mouth to say something but quickly closed it again. He knew his words were nothing but insignificance. He couldn't even imagine half of the stuff the elder had been through, let alone feel their weight. All he could do was sympathise.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered. Yoongi chuckled.

"Yeah, everyone is sorry. That doesn't get me my friend back, or my wings for that matter," he said. Even though his tone wasn't pointed, he could feel the anger and frustration behind them. Jungkook knew it only stemmed from fear and grief, maybe heartbreak.

"You must've really loved him," the younger carefully said. Yoongi just blinked for a moment.

"I never said anything about love," he snapped back.

"No, you didn't. But your eyes did," Jungkook said. Yoongi rolled his eyes. Even though he was great at bottling things up and keeping things hidden, once his wall started to crumble he couldn't hide anything. Even the slightest emotion would transfer to his body, almost like he was a Pollock canvas. A splatter of fear here and splatter of grief there, for everyone to see except himself.

"Listen, I know you've probably got more questions, but please understand that we can't give you those answers yet," Yoongi said before standing up.

"Yoongi, wait," Jungkook uttered. The elder turned around in the door opening.

"What was his name?" Jungkook simply asked. Yoongi felt a sad smile creep up his face.

"Hoseok," he quietly mumbled.

As he spoke those words a sound came from the living area. A sense of dread followed them soon after. Jungkook only needed to look into Yoongi's direction once to have his fears confirmed. There were demons in their safehouse.

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Ya girl got her driving license.