Chapter 12

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ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 12
"ᴍʏ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ'ꜱ ᴍɪꜱᴛᴀᴋᴇɴ"

The church was slightly emptier than usual. It was probably because most frequents got the news. The priest is sick today, so instead there'd be a substitute pastor from a nearby church. People here were a close and kind community. They'd rather pray on their own than follow a different preacher, even just for once. Some would probably visit the church later if they really wanted to visit God's house.

Sadly enough Namjoon hadn't gotten the news. He would've rather stayed home if he knew, but it would be considered rude to leave now. Either way, he still wanted to visit the church regardlessly. Like so many other times, Jungkook was dragged along. He had mostly been inside except for the few lectures he had. Namjoon decided it would be good to get out for a bit. Jungkook couldn't quite disagree with that. Now that he was sitting in of the pews, he wished he would've tried harder to come up with an excuse.

"Today I would like to talk to you about sins," the priest began, walking back and forth. "You must all know the seven deadly sins; sloth, gluttony, greed, envy, pride, anger and lust. I'd mainly like to talk about the last one," he proclaimed. Jungkook just shifted uncomfortably in his chair at the pastor's words. He already knew where this was going.

"In my opinion lust is the worst sin of them all. One misuses the gift of God for their own pleasure. Sexual intercourse should be for reproductive purposes only, not for pleasure. Contrary to popular belief fornication isn't love, it doesn't make people care more about each other or make people closer. It only clouds the mind from the true will of God," the priest said in a convincing tone. The poison coming out of his mouth resonated through the large halls, echoing from the stained glass and marble pillars. "With all sins, it only causes the sinner's own demise. It's tragic, without a doubt, but it's also deserved. With lust, however, it's tempting for others as well. Lust is an internal emotion, but the act cannot be committed by just one person. There is always more at play, and it is often rationalised and accepted," the pastor added.

Jungkook was waiting for the words he feared most to hit, for the insults he knew were passively coming his way to come up in conversation. He knew the priest would switch the subject just enough to make him feel bad about himself again, him and his vicious words. It had happened before and it was going to happen again.

"That's also why the worst sinners are those who seek pleasure for non-childing purposes. Those who are not able to have children yet still make attempts, especially two men or two women who not only misuse the gift of God but force it upon others," the priest said.

Jungkook couldn't help but bite this inside of his cheek. It had been a long time since he had been stuck in this situation. The last time was during dinner over at a friend's house when he was only a teen. His father continued to casually spew hate, only being encouraged by his wife. That was the last time Jungkook went over to his friend's house. He couldn't bring himself to speak up at that time, he didn't know how to.

Even now he couldn't say anything. He wouldn't stop a preacher in the middle of his sermon, he wouldn't dare to. After all, it was his decision to walk into this building and listen to him. As the priest kept talking Jungkook just silently dug his nails into his palms. Namjoon and Jimin noticed but neither decided to speak up, probably in the same battle of morale.

"Nowadays it seems this is accepted. More and more countries allow this blasphemy, luckily not yet our Korea. The truth is; not only do they fool themselves, but they also trick everyone around them. People give more and more into sin and those who lead it are the gays. We must make them redeem themselves, it is not yet too late for them to choose the right path," the priest decided.

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