Kill Our Way to Heaven (Jikook) ✔

Chapter 28

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 28
"ᴍᴇᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴀᴋᴇʀ"

It always started with awareness. Jimin knew he existed, he could feel the space around him even if it wasn't physical and he could see the luminous light shining through his eyelids almost painfully. The brightness made them almost see-through like old curtains, a light salmon colour finding its way to his consciousness. He knew the light of heaven was too bright to keep out.

As he opened his eyes, he took his first breath. Senses overrun him all at once. He could feel his heart beat, rushing blood through his vessels. The sound was always overwhelming at first, the steady rhythm almost as loud as his own breathing. The brightness burned his eyes and the silence sent his ears into overdrive. It would take a while to get used to this, to feeling again.

Being welcomed into God's arms again always felt like waking up from a dream. Everything under His eye was more radiant, almost overwhelming. The bright light reaching into nothingness around him made earth seem dull. He felt as if he had slept for decennia, only just learning how to live, like a newborn taking their first glances at the world surrounding them. Jimin looked around with the same admiration, almost feeling the love of God around him, thick in the air and being breathed in with every intake.

Jimin pushed himself up slowly. Even though his muscles were completely developed, the first few movements were always hard. It was like waking up in many ways, his body was still heavy and reluctant. Even if it was, he managed to push himself up into a sitting position. When he looked around all that his eyes met was bare skin and feathers. There were no scars or wounds or his body anymore, just seamless flesh, bones, organs and muscles. His wings laid limp beside his legs. When he tried to curl his wings around his naked body, they moved slowly. 

As his body was comforted, his mind started developing. Memories slowly but surely were rushing back. It was almost as if a filter was placed over them. The countless nights spent with Jungkook working on assignments and practising songs were now nothing but an overexposed Polaroid picture. He could see it, but not quite clear as they used to be. It was normally like that. Whenever he would die, his memories would slowly start to decay and dismantle themselves, even though the trauma he wasn't supposed to feel seemed to stick to him. 

There were more memories as clear as daylight. When Jimin started to reminisce, he realised most of those memories contained was particular human. While battles, friendship and fights seemed to decay, Jungkook still lingered in his mind, almost as if the memories served a purpose. He could still remember his smile and his tears, his tremors yet his steady hands when he was playing the piano. It was all beautiful, and it was all still a part of him. He could envision it, almost sure that he could reach out and wipe away his tears if he wanted to.

Suddenly one memory, in particular, hit him. The tears on Jungkook's face and his dismissive words took the main stage. The light shining through the church window's reflected from the younger's pale face, his glazy eyes looking like pearls in the moonlight. His blood, however, was crimson and bright. Even now, Jimin could feel the pain of his death. He remembered the sharp sting in his chest and the feeling of blood rushing out of him, making his head feel lighter and lighter. He remembered the fight that led up to it and the way he had bowed in front of the demon's corpse, a sense of regret taking over him. 

What hurt most, however, was something unexpected, something he hadn't experienced before. It was an emotion akin to grief. His heart ached and he felt sick to his stomach, feeling it churn with every thought. He missed Jungkook. He had died a dozen times, leaving friends and subjects alike behind without a second thought. His main priority was to keep them safe and that was what he did. His death wasn't pointless, it was almost necessary. But with Jungkook he felt like he shouldn't die in the same way he wanted to protect the younger even if those weren't his orders. He felt like more than just a soldier.