"Fix Me"

Drowning in Alcohol.

Chapter 3.

My body is shaking uncontrollably and I can't shake the feeling of wanting to swerve into the other lane and end everything now.

If I did do it, for once I would make everyone happy. The Bakers would receive the phone call and finally be free of me. I am nothing but a burden to everyone around me. I literally attract misery.

As soon as I ran out of those doors I ignored the shouts from Alana telling me to stop and wait because one thing and one thing only is on my mind right now, Alcohol. I miss the taste of vodka or tequila on my tongue, I need something to help me push these memories away something to drown out all the pain.

Look at me, I'm pathetic so pathetic that even after I promised myself and the Bakers I wouldn't black out I'm on a search for liquor. My phone has been ringing non stop and I'm getting so fucking tired of hearing it.

For the twenty minutes I have been driving around my phone has rang at least 14 times more or less, and I'm getting a migraine. I dug my phone out of my pocket and shut it off throwing it onto the passenger seat. Finally some quiet.

After maybe 10 more minutes of driving I finally spot a bar. Andy And Ben's Bar is standing out bright on the colorful sign and by the looks of it it's a pretty popular bar more like a club than just a place to sit and drown your self in liquor to lessen your sorrows. Once I found a decent enough parking spot I grabbed my wallet and made my way inside.

The loud up beat music was welcoming, on the inside it's quite dark but illuminated by strobe lights. I need a drink then maybe i'll get drunk enough to get up and dance. The bartender was a pretty attractive guy he looked to be at least twenty three or twenty four years old.

"Four double shots of Tequila" I ordered. He gave me a once over and looked kinda unsure.

"Got a I.D?" he asked. Immediately I reached into my purse got out my wallet and handed him my fake I.D. Don't ask how I got it, it's a long story and cost me a lot but it's worth it. His name tag read Danny. Of course, I'm starting to think the Universe is mocking me.

"Alright four double shots of Tequila coming up. But isn't that kinda a hard liquor sure you don't wanna take it easy? I mean beautiful girls like you usually just get the fruity drinks you know not the hard stuff, are you alright?" Bartender Danny said.

"Long story, just please get me my shots." I pleaded. He looked as if he wanted to say something else but held back. Smart choice. He disappeared for a few moments and when he came back on a small tray were four shots filled to the rim with a deep and thick brown liquid. Quickly I said thank you before easily downing them.

This is what I missed, the familiar and slightly painful sting of the liquor as it goes down my throat.

"Another round!" I shouted to him. He looked reluctant but this is his job and I want to forget, I need to forget everyone. When the third round came I downed it and ordered another. By the fourth set I felt the effects of the liquor and the beat of my heart matched up with the thumping beat of the music I drank two of the four shots and with the other two small glasses in my hand I made my way over to the dance floor.

I squeezed myself into the huge group of people here enjoying the night with their friends or lovers. My hips swayed to the music, grinding on anybody nearest to me and chugged the other two shots before dropping the shot glasses carelessly to the floor.

I felt someone roughly grip my waist, if it was earlier in the night I probably would of jumped a mile into the air and pushed him away after all my unlucky encounters with men, but right now I don't care.

I don't even remember why I came here in the first place. Did I come alone? oh fuck it I don't know.

I'm grinding hard on this stranger as his hands travel all over my body. When the song changed I spun around to see who he was.