"Fix Me"

Drained.

Chapter 4.

Cody's little sister jasmine is absolutely adorable with her bluish grey eyes and long flowing blonde hair. She's six years old and i'm jealous of how beautiful she's going to be in the future.

His mother Amelia is nice too but she's more on the quiet side. I had a lovely time at his house watching him play with his little sister but all good things must come to an end. I pulled into the bakers parking lot and sighed. I don't want to continue fighting with Alana though so I have to go inside and end this now.

I need to just calm down and go with the flow everything will be all right. I got out of my car and made my way inside. Theres hushed chatter coming from the living room so I quietly walked over to it but stopped short when I heard what they were saying.

"We have to get her help. You know I love Ella dearly but this is unhealthy. She has been through so much, the poor girl never catches a break." I believe that was David speaking.

"David we can't do that unless she's one hundred percent willing. I refuse to make her feel like we are giving up on her."

I dug my nails into my palms. Just like everyone else they're tired of me. Ready to push me away after only a few slip ups. Hot tears ran down my cheeks, I'm so hurt.

These people are all I have left. I have nothing and no one without them. If I wasn't so fucking weak and stupid I would have never messed up as bad as I did. They have given me chance after chance and I took advantage if that. Now they hate me just like my mom, just like Hannah.

I stepped into the living room, Anne gasped and David was up out of his seat ready to explain himself, but before he could talk I shook my head.

"Are you getting rid of me?" I asked my voice shaky, I feel so betrayed.

"Ella please, have a seat"

"No I don't want to fucking take a seat. Answer the God damn question. Are you.. g-getting rid of me?" I whispered.

A wave of rage shot through me and I slammed my hand down on the table making Anne jump. The loud noise echoed throughout the spacious living room. I'm just like my mom, I have no control, i'm going to be just like her.

No one spoke. I feel like the winds been knocked out of me and I don't have the strength to stand any longer. My feet collapsed under me and I crumbled to the ground. David rushed to me but I scooted back away from him.

"Don't touch me." I held my shaky hands up as a defense to block him away from me, he looked confused.

"Stop no! don't touch me please, I'm sorry. Mommy please stop your hurting me!" David's face faded and standing over me was my mother.

"Look at yourself Ella. Your a disgrace to this family. I should have aborted you like your father wanted. Your a useless peace of shit. I'm a fool for not listening. He left me and it's all your fault." she took another long drags of the joint she had rolled in between her fingers. My quiet sobs filled the room and I pushed my self harder into the wall trying to mend into it to get away from her. I'm just a little girl why does my mommy hate me so much?

She sent a swift kick to my stomach and I shrieked, doubling over.

"I hate you, Your father hates you everyone hates you Ella your pathetic." She bent down leveling herself with me, her pale and sickly face was directly in front of mine and she grabbed my chin forcing me to look into her eyes. They held no emotion.

"Mommy please stop it's my birthday, please." I begged her to leave me alone pleading but her cold eyes flamed with hate and she pressed the end of her joint to my forearm burning me. I screamed loudly and she smacked me across my face, over and over and over. She punched and she kicked me yelling her hateful things at me while I pleaded her to stop. Her sadistic smile sent a shudder down my spine. I curled myself into a ball. My only defense against her blows. As a 12 year old girl I could never over power her. I tried that once and she beat me more.