chapter 13

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When Josh attacked me I punch him so we were even at the moment. He apologizes but I waved him off and said I would of done the same exact thing. He was looking at the girls and had a questioning look on his face, I knew what he wanted to ask. So, before he even asks his question I explain what happen over the last few days. He knew about the explosions and the aftermath that followed but he didn't know what my aftermath as. So, I told him how I wanted to save my family and went to my brother's place of work. He interrupted me and told me that was the dumbest thing I could have done but I did it anyway. And how on the way there I save Casey from being killed and then while looking for my family I heard a baby crying and saw that Carmen as all alone. How she was the only one left in the nursery. I couldn't leave. I also told him how my Jake killed himself when I told him my brother was dead. Or how I find my partner Brooks with a bite wound on his neck.

Josh just listen to my story. He looked at me as if I was some kind of superhero. But I wasn't. I was just some cop who killed her family and save two kids. I also told him about New York and what was happening there. At first, he didn't believe but I kept at it. Telling him about Jackie and her crew and how it started over there. He still didn't believe the Jackie girl but he did believe me about seeing my family. "I hear the police headquarters and trying to help people but I think the city is lost," he said. I looked at him and again. "we need out of the city to keep these girls safe Josh," I said. He agreed with me and we started planning our escape route out of the city but for now, we went inside for some much-needed rest.

Josh lead us inside the building, it was trashed. "Josh, are you the only ones here?" I ask him. "Yes, everyone cleared out after people started eating each other," he said. The look on his face told a story that he didn't want to relive. I would push him to tell me what happens I had my own stories that I didn't want to relive. I saw things that I never thought were possible and I've don't things that could be seen as inhumane but then again, these things that were called growlers and tickers weren't alive. They weren't human and they didn't deserve my pity. "so how have you and your sister been holding out since all this started?" I ask him. "Oh, you know looking through the empty apartments and taking their food and whatnot, you know just simple raiding," he said, "But what about those who try to come here and break-in?" I ask him. "Well that means id shot them or fight them but no one besides you came through here," he said, "why are you here?" he asks me. For a moment, I had to really think about it. The only reason why I came here was because of the gates and that was about it. "I came here hoping to make this place safe for the girls that's all, I didn't know that you were here, I just thought you die or left the city before this shit hit the fan," I told him in all honesty.

"But I don't think we should stay here in the city for long. There close to 4 million people in the city alone and I think sooner or later we will have to leave here and find someplace that more open and less crowded, "I said. "You're right but for right now let's get you some food and let's plan that great escape for tomorrow," said Josh. I agreed with them. For right now I need to make sure the girls were safe and I needed to stay healthy. Tomorrow we will make a plan.

After entering into Josh's apartment, I told Casey to eat and I'll handle Carmen. Casey did was she was told and ate some fruit bars and had some water. Artemis was pacing back and forth from the door to the hallway. It was like she couldn't make up her mind about staying here or not. It could of been because she didn't know Josh and didn't recognize anything. I needed to get some sleep but I had to make sure the girls were alright. I knew Josh from work and I could trust him but at the same time, it was different. Everything change and I didn't know what to think of him now. it was just too much for me to handle but I had to keep it together so Casey and Carmen can live in a somewhat safe place. Somewhere outside the city. Anywhere but here. Maybe this was how Jackie felt when this all started for her. I mean she did seem a bit crazy but before the signal cut out I hear the determination in her voice and hope. If only I could talk to her again and ask her for help. Ask her how she handles all this, instead of walking alone in the dark. But I knew if I needed to walk alone in the dark in order to figure everything out. Yes, I could use some help along the way but I couldn't trust anyone easily anymore.

With the dead walking and the living losing its mind there wasn't much for me to pick from. How can I save these girls without losing my mind? I needed to know the answers to these questions!

I just wanted to scream at the world! I wanted to scream at the people who did this! I wanted out of here! I wanted everything to be normal for once! I wanted my brother back, t heard his annoying laughter and my mothers' kind words and my father talking about his day on the beat. I wanted to wear that dumb pink dress my mother brought me for my brother's wedding. I wanted it everything to be okay again but it wasn't! I just wanted Casey to be safe and with her family and to have Carmen with her mother and father as well with a different name! but it wasn't going to happen. This was our new normal now.

I couldn't let the negative thoughts take over. I needed to stay calm. I needed to sleep and feed Carmen and talk to Josh about leaving the city. I needed to feel something other than fucked. "Josh, when I'm done with Carmen, let's talk about the station we're in," I said to him. "Alright Haley, but first I'm going to take stock of what we have and see how long it will last before we have to leave here," he said to me. I nodded my head and want back to Carmen. I didn't know what to say to her but she just smiles up at me and reach her small hands towards me. I smile at her. This kid always bringing a smile to my face. I would burn the whole world down for her and Casey for taking away their lives and future.

After Josh took stock of what he had he said we would last four about four weeks before we ran out. I was glad for that but I was worried about staying here. "we need a plan to leave the city," I said. "I know we do but we can exactly drive our way out of here," he said. He had a point I thought to myself. "Don't worry while find a way," I said to him. I started to feel the weight of the world crushing me. But I pushed it away. I thought of different ways out of the city. I thought about all of the fastest ways out of the city but thought about it. It was most likely packed with people trying to get out or those growlers and tickers. I wouldn't risk that with the girls, however, if I was by myself maybe. Then I thought of secondary routes and thought those would be just as pack too. Maybe we can use a boat and leave here through the water. But I didn't know how to drive one, maybe Josh did, I should ask him later. Casey came to me and took Carmen out of my arms. She told me she was going to wash and feed her. I said 'thank you' and she just smiles and said: "She is my litter sister and if my job to bet there for her too." I smile at her.

After Casey took Carmen from me I felt my body grow weak. I haven't eaten much in the last two days and I was running on low sleep as well. I needed rest but I also needed to make a plan to escape the city. "Rest Haley don't burn yourself out," said Josh. "I can't I have to make a plan to keep the girls safe, I need to this," I said. As I got up I started to feel dizzy and then my world went black. I didn't hear or feel anything after that.

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