Paging Payton(A Grey Anatomy/Jackson Avery Fanfic)

T W E N T Y- N I N E

Payton Arizona

"Payton, you're home." Meredith looked at me in surprise. Her and Derek were sitting on the couch, the baby in his bassinet.

"Sorry to come in so late, I figured you guys would be asleep." I whispered, trying not to wake the baby. "I just couldn't stand sleeping on an on-call room mattress for another night."

"It's fine. I'm just glad your home, Payton. Go sleep in your bed." Derek smiled at me and nodded toward the stairs. I started to walk toward the stairs but stopped abruptly.

"Hey, umm-" I started to ask, but couldn't figure out how to form the words.

"He's not here." Meredith called to me.

"Thank you."

--

"God damnit." I muttered under my breath. I threw my gown and gloves into the trash and pulled off my scrub cap.

Alex performed a bowel resection on a 9 year old and his scar tissue clotted. He pulled me in to help, but we were too late.

I headed to the elevator and pressed the 3rd floor button. The third floor on-call room had the best mattresses and people rarely had sex in it.

As I walked out of the elevator and toward the on-call room I heard someone call my name from behind. I didn't turn around because I already knew who the voice belonged to and I wasn't very eager to speak to him.

"Payton," Jackson said again as he grabbed my hand. I pulled my hand away from his and refused to meet his gaze. "Payton please come home."

"Jackson, I can't-" I stared at my feet and shook my head.

"Payton, you can't sleep in on-call rooms forever. You look exhausted, like you haven't gotten any sleep in days. Please, just come home and sleep in a real bed. We don't have to talk." His eyes pleaded with me. I looked up at his face for a split second, trying to figure out what to do. I made up my mind, and continued my walk down the hall. I heard Jackson sigh from behind me.

--

I quietly cracked open the door to Jacksons room and peeked in.

"Payton?" Jackson asked in a groggy voice as he sat up in bed.

"Sorry. Go back to sleep." I said as I went to leave the room.

"Come here." He pulled the covers back on my side and put his hand where I laid.

I quickly took off my sweater and traded my clothes for an oversized T-shirt before crawling under the covers next to Jackson.

"Goodnight." I whispered quietly. He responded by squeezing his arm tighter around me and I got the first ounce of sleep I'd had in days.

--

"Payton." Jackson called my name from the hall. He pulled me into an empty exam room and shut the door. "About the last few nights-"

"Stop. Just- stop, please.  This is why I didn't want to come home. I can't talk about it, not yet. I've barely accepted that it actually happened. And trust me I feel like shit about that night but I don't want to talk about it." I went to leave but he followed me I tot he secluded hall.

"Payton, we have to talk about it."

"No we don't."

"Listen, I don't know what your scared of-" I cut him off.

"What I'm scared of? Did you seriously just question what I'm scared of." My voice was a mixture of awe and anger. "Fine, you wanna know? Me, Jackson. I'm scared of me. And I'm scared for you. I'm scared that I'll screw things up, and that I'll hurt you. Because you, you are one of the best things that has ever happened to me. And I'm scared that once you know everything that you'll get scared or angry and you'll leave. And you say you won't, but you will. You say you don't care, but you do. It happens every time." My anger flushed out of my body and was replaced by the frustrated urge to hit something.

"Payton, I know that you're used to people leaving, but like I've told you before, I will never leave you."

"And what if I leave you?" I asked abruptly.

"What?" Jackson looked take aback.

"Jackson, I'm dying."