Protector Series: Bonus Chapters and Content

Nolan's Poem

Spoilers from: Protector 4 - chapter 23 of Protector 7

I was so distracting during my English exam that I was randomly imagining what Nolan's poem was actually going to sound like, so I want to post it on here.

Poems are my weakness, though. I cannot write poems at all and whenever I have to for school, I cry inside. cx OOPS.

TRIGGER WARNING since the poem is about all of Nolan's struggles

I WAS

I was born on December 26th
five minutes after my brother and
seven minutes before my sister.
We've always been close
yet they didn't see.
No one did.

I was four when I would argue
with my sister
about celebrities.
She would say he's her husband
and I would say he's my husband.
That was the first sign.
My parents only thought I was joking.

I was six when I was talking
with my great-grandma.
I was excited to tell her I would
find a husband
who makes me happy
just like my mom did.
That was the second sign.
Only my great-grandma knew.

I was twelve when I tried
hiding it.
I would wait to get changed for gym
or I would wear my gym clothes to school.
I didn't want to go into the change room.
That was the third sign.
I hid it.
No one saw.

I was fourteen when I shut my family out.
I didn't want to be around them.
I stayed in my room.
I was moody, resentful,
hurt inside.
They knew something was up.
That was the fourth sign.
They wouldn't give up on me.

I was fourteen when I came out
to my oldest brother.
He refused to ignore my change in behaviour
so I told him.
He didn't hate or resent me.
He promised my family wouldn't either.
I didn't say a thing.

I was fourteen when two people found out
and hurt me because of it.
A punch to the face, the ribs,
everywhere.
My brother stopped them and
accidentally told my dad that I'm gay.
He gave me a hug in support and said
he would always love me.
I told my family.
They had the same reaction.

I was fourteen when I got my first boyfriend.
Canadian, brown eyes, brown hair,
seventeen years old.
The age difference didn't matter.
My family loved him.

I was fourteen when I was sent to the hospital
because everything happens to me
at fourteen.
People can't accept who I am
and who I like
so I was hurt
over and over until I couldn't walk.

I was fourteen when my wrists,
my wrists were stained red
with a blade of hatred and despise.
Those taunting words I had to hear
every single day.
My boyfriend was embracing who he was
and I was cowering away.

I was fifteen when I started embracing
who I am.
I was okay being in public with my boyfriend.
The comments still came,
but I pushed them away.
They're opinions didn't matter
to me.

I was sixteen when he broke up with me
because he wanted his parents
to accept him.
Accept him for who he isn't,
for what they want him to be.
I didn't work.

I was sixteen when he asked for another chance
and because I love him
I gave him one.
It didn't help that I was
constantly wearing his hoodies.
That day was a huge step because we kissed
in public
with a huge crowd of people.
I didn't care.

I was sixteen when I couldn't take the pain
so I took some pills
one
by
one.
It didn't work.
My boyfriend promised he would always
be there for me.
I couldn't let him down.

I was seventeen when I graduated
from high school.
I was seventeen when I knew
where I wanted my life to go.
I was seventeen when he proposed.
And I said yes.

I was seventeen when people said
I was too young
too immature,
that I wasn't ready
because everyone knows if I'm ready or not
because everyone knows how I'm feeling inside.
But not me, apparently.
I do not know my feelings well enough.
That's what they think.
I think not.

I was eighteen when we got married
the day between our birthdays.
I was eighteen when his dad saw
how in love we are.
I was eighteen when his dad finally
accepted him for who he is.

I am eighteen and I am strong.
I am eighteen and I am proud.
I am eighteen and no one
no one
can tell me what I can and can't feel.
I am eighteen and I am who I am
and nothing or no one will change that.

I was born
I was four
I was six
I was twelve
I was fourteen
I was fifteen
I was sixteen
I was seventeen
I'm eighteen.
I'm proud.

______________________
I kept getting so distracted lol oops. cx

YAS SLAY NOLAN (even though I wrote this) SLAYYYYYYYY.

(I'm sorry if it's cringeworthy lol)