Chapter 17: Spoonful of Regret

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Three days dragged by since the news exploded and fragmented the families into pieces scattering them like debris. The pregnancy overshadowed the families like a grey cloud of shame weighing heavily and threatening to burst forth it's burden and dishonour the families.

Mahnoor stood  in the front entrance of her office gazing at the row of dandelions that grew between the bricks on the front car park. They looked ugly and spoiled the smart front driveway. Sheetal approached from behind holding a mug of coffee and gave one to Mahnoor.

"Thank you." Mahnoor mumbled a reply.

"The social worker will be coming in half an hour. Have you updated Sheila's notes?" Mahnoor murmured a reply. All she could think of getting down on her hands and knees and yanking the dandelions from the root.

"You must focus Mahnoor." Sheetal reminded her. After the bombshell, Sheetal held Mahnoor supporting her through the shock. Ayaaz had disappointed her. She couldn't look at him. She didn't want to speak to him. Last night Ayaaz came into her room and sat at the end of the bed with his head hung low. Mahnoor listened in silence to his heartfelt apology and quivering voice but felt nothing.

"I've shamed you mum. I've shamed the family. I had everything and I spoilt it all. This is all my fault mum. I will do anything to do to make it right." He sniffed back his tears. "I'm so sorry mum." Ayaaz touched her foot that was tucked under the blanket but Mahnoor flinched.
"Please, mum-just tell me what to do to make it better. I hate it when you turn away from me."

"Mahnoor, you shouldn't be too hard on Ayaaz." Sheetal's voice derailed Mahnnor's trail of thoughts. "This is the 21st century. He's a young man, and it's what men do. Times have changed. After all she was his fiancé, it's not like she was a random girl."

Times had changed, but Mahnoor was staunch in her faith. Sex before marriage was forbidden. It was a grave sin and she'd taught her son the wrongs and right in their faith, so where did she go wrong?

"Sheetal, I'm a hypocrite." Mahnoor's gaze was fixed on the dandelions. "I don't know whether I'm angry with myself or him. I failed as a mother; after all it wasn't long when I threw myself on Khizar. It was Khizar who saved me from myself. So it feels wrong to reprimand my son. I can't take the moral high ground, because I'm just as bad."

The traffic dulled down on the dual carriageway like it allowed respite for Mahnoor to stop and reflect. Sheetal stood side by side with Mahnoor. "Don't give yourself a hard time. You've done your best as a single mother given your circumstances. Have your called Khizar?"

Mahnoor was frustrated with Khizar. Ever since Khizar marched out of her house, she'd called him numerous times but he refused to pick up.

"I don't know what I will say to him, but I need to speak to him." Mahnoor sighed. The coffee was  cold, but the cup was hot. She liked the warmth seep into her hand. "My son has ruined Khizar's daughter's honour. He's shamed our family and committed zina. Who knows how many more girls he sleept with? Who knows if he drinks? I feel like I don't know him anymore."

"He is still your son."

"He's Basharat's son. Like father, like son." Mahnoor chucked her coffee onto the dandelions. "My son has made a mess of his and Amirah's life. I will have to sort it out, as usual. I must speak to Nadiya since Khizar is avoiding me and apologise to her. But I don't know how I will face her!"

Sheetal staunchly opposed Mahnoor's outlook. There was no blame and there shouldn't be any shame. Ayaaz and Amirah were young hearts and sexual attraction was natural. However, Sheetal respected Mahnoor's belief that sex before married was sinful in her faith and they should have abstained until marriage. But how was Mahnoor going to face Nadiya?

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