Father of the Bride

Chapter 22: The Wedding: Part VI

******Trigger warning: Bad langauge. ****

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Today is my wedding day. Yet, I feel like I'm out of my body. All around me people stare at me, laughing and smiling with happiness, some I can't recognise. Music deafens me. My feet unsteady in these-poor- excuse for shoes cutting into my toes. I'm being taken inside. His arm is still around my neck. Like an anaconda. Threatening and suffocating. I can smell smoke from his clothes. It's suffocating. It's strong like the whiff of weed. Now I know where I inherited this nasty habit. I see his gold teeth, glimmering with every smile. My stomach churns. I feel sick. Where's mum? I can't see her. I heard her voice in the entrance, but here in the whirlwind of family I can't see her. I need to see her. To tell her that dad is here. He's so close to me. There she is. Just beside Unlce Kabir. She's looked beautiful. She's smiling. That can't be right. Does she know dad is here? Her hair blows in her face. That necklace she's wearing, I know dad bought it years ago. I spent my childhood running away from this monster. Looking over our shoulder, worried that he would find us. I'd make a small den out of bedsheets and hide under there with my torch and my dinosaurs guarding me. Yet, it wasn't enough. No refuge was enough. He found mum. Then he tried to kill her.

"Mum!" I call her but there is no voice. She can't hear me. Maybe she can't see dad. I must keep dad busy and then warn mum.

"Well done lad! You've made me proud." Dad grunts in my ear like it's all his hard work. How dare he take ownership and stand beside me?

"Beta?!" Mum's sweet voice is around me. I turn and find her behind me. Before I can speak she cups my face and imprints her lipstick on my cheek. She wipes it off with her thumb. I can see the slight scar on her neck. I know she wore the necklace to hide the strangulation mark on her neck, but how can she hide the scars deep down?

"Mum? He's here." I warn her.

The countenance on mum's face changes. She looks down. In her eyes, there is desperation which I've seen before.

"Just for today. Bear patience." She whispers wisdome in my ear. "He's your dad, there is nothing I can do about that." When mum pulls back, I see her lips turn into a frown. Then she smiles for the guests. It's all a façade, she is doing it for me.

Later, I'm sitting on the stage, sweat dripping down my back as the warmth of the camera light flashes upon me. Every now and again a family member comes up and sits beside me, feeds me mithai, so much so, that I feel sick. Then they take a selfie. I see auntie Mumtaz standing with her daughter in law, Sophie and Feroz. Ismail stands out with his blonde hair and blue eyes. I look at them in awe. Feroz is a great dad. Ismail is so lucky.

I look over at my dad, standing over me like a guard as though he owns me. I grit my teeth. I fantasise of beating him up, so hard that I smash his two gold teeth. Why is there still so much anger inside me? I thought I was over it. I'm shivering. Why did he come? But I must remain patient, like mum said. Because today is about Amirah and my baby. Uncle Khizar is watching me, I must prove to him I can take care of them. I am mature. So, I must endure this man who is nothing but a sperm donor.

"Ayaaz?!" I hear a voice to my right. It's Jeremiah. He looks cool in his black kurtha, brings out his shining white teeth. He's been my left-hand man today, with Feroz being my right hand man.

Jeremiah brings me my mobile.

"Who is it?"

"It's Kara." He replies.

I take the mobile wondering why she is calling me. I look around the hall and see many women, but no sign of Kara. Why isn't the cow here?

"Where are you?" I shout into the speaker.