Undesirable

Ch 4 - Unwanted touch

Eve's POV

I shivered once the lights were off but relieved too that I was not punished for touching him. But at the back of my mind, I felt if he will do the same thing which father used to do. Make me feel I will not get punished and when I felt I was safe he would lash out on me. The disturbing thoughts did not let me go back to sleep. The anticipation of punishment, cruel accusations from Evans and the aftermath of the nightmare was the prime reason not to sleep. I was still shaking from fear. I don't remember going through any incident but Mom used to say that any bad experience of mine would result in nightmares magnified. I don't remember anything bad happening to me but still, whenever someone touches me involuntarily especially a male I would get nightmares. Seeing I could not go to sleep I thought to just wait till the first light of the day.

Next Morning

I kept looking at the darkness in my room. His figure sprawled on the bed a few feet next to me. I wished I could have a normal college going girl life. I wish I could just have night outs and be with my friends and have a boyfriend like any other normal teenager, who would try to make me happy and will listen to my tantrums or something that makes me feel like if only I was just eighteen and not some rich billionaire's trophy wife. But I knew all that was just wishful thinking and the possibility of me having a boyfriend as good as zero because I am afraid of the opposite gender. I don't trust the opposite gender in fact I don't trust people. 

I never had friends until Ria came along. Initially, I was doubtful of her that she was using me for some ulterior motive. The guys and girl of my school bullied me and later on they ignored me. But Ria changed everything for me. She is like a sister to me. But her not being present at my wedding and leaving me without any notice was not sitting well with me. Everything would have been good if I was not married.

They always say that life's not fair. I don't know what is it that Mr. Evans had against my family that no one supported me on my decision to pursue my career. I begged my Mom to stop this marriage but even she turned her head away at that. I even tried to run away but I was caught and then my Mom blackmailed me that if I tried again she will kill herself.

I gave in because, in my family where I have 2 sisters and a younger brother, the only person who made me feel nice was my Mom and I could not live my life knowing I caused them to lose their Mom.  Here I am married in the name, disliked by my Mother-in-law and harassed by my brother-in-law and I am called cunning, disgusted, unwanted and gold digger by my husband what a life!!. 

I felt tears welling up I could not go on thinking like this. I had enough share of miseries. I accepted that my father never loved me, I accepted I was not the best of the sibling because I was the reason they felt ashamed in front of their friends. I accepted I don't have a normal family where everyone loves each other despite their differences. But he a stranger who never gave the time of his day to me and doesn't even consider me even human is accusing me at every opportunity was breaking my confidence further, but I can't let him do that. 

With that thought in my mind, I got up from my bed and went to shower, with each wave of water I felt negativity leaving me and I found I could do was avoid my husband as long as I can and accompany him here and there and then once he lets his guard down I can escape. I know it seems cowardly but I don't have many options. I will have to gather resources to plan my escape without any traces.

I may be a sentimental fool but I am not dumb to try to leave now when l am already in limelight. I know my father is watching me, he knows I am in a mansion he knows everything I do. I wonder why he would choose such a life for me. I don't remember doing anything to cause such hatred from him but I accepted his hatred because its the only thing I will get from him. My thoughts were broken and as I was done with the shower and was ready with comfy clothes, I ran down through the main doors entered the gardens. I did my warm-up and then started running and after running for an hour I felt tired and I sat near the fountain a place away from the windows of the big mansion.