After all this time,
I still can't come to terms
with what happened to me.
I sit here and think about it,
tell myself the same story over and over,
But it feels like the story of a stranger.
It makes no fucking sense.
I have the scars, I have the nightmares, I have the flashbacks.
But it still feels unreal.
I sit here,
Too numb to sob,
And tell myself
I was abused.
I was manipulated.
I was gaslighted.
I was raped.
But I still feel no connection
Other than the
Shakes and sobs
That escape in the dead of night
And the memories
That play on a loop
On every screen of my mind.
Did this happen?
Is this me?
Tell me I'm crazy
(oh God please don't say I'm crazy)
Take it away
(let me hold on to the only proof I have)
Please hurt me
(please don't hurt me)
Just let me keep breathing today
(it's easier if I stop)
Let me overcome.
Let me accept that I am the stranger.
Let me embrace her
Instead of coldly watching her past from the sidelines.
YOU ARE READING
Survive: Collected Poems
Poetry~WATTY'S 2019~ ~NOTICE~ AS OF 2/3/19, THIS COLLECTION HAS TOO MANY PARTS! READ VOLUME 2, THRIVE, OUT TODAY! On the pain, love, and passion that makes me human. Potential swearing, mentions of suicide, self harm, depression, rape, etc.
