Never Let This Go *Paramore*

Chapter Four: The Lying Game

But you don't owe me anything

Don't hear me out, I'll just sing

If you don't wanna know

I understand, but just know

Oh, that you don't owe me anything

Don't listen to me, the words just sting

If you want me to go

I understand, but just know, oh

You Don't Owe Me Anything; Tonight Alive

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Short chapters are cool. Short emotional and dramatic are better. Actually that isn't true but ya know.

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Hayley's P.O.V.

I hear Taylor, Kat, and Jeremy say their goodbyes and the door being closed. To be honest, I am glad they left; only because I feel the need to be alone. I love them both to death, I really do. I don't mind Taylor being near me for a couple of reasons. He is letting me stay in his house for as long as I need to, and he already knows that I self harmed just earlier today.

It's eight o'clock right now. Probably about 26 hours since I've last had food. Or water. Funny thing is, I'm still not even hungry. I feel completely full, actually. Anyone who knows me would know that isn't too accurate, though. Who knows? Maybe I'm making a big deal about nothing! I could loose a pound or two anyway. Then, interrupting my thoughts , I hear a knock on the door. Instead of crying or being in the middle of self harming, I'm sitting on my bed. "Come in," I tell who I know is Taylor.

He walks in and stands by the door, his hand still holding the doorknob. "Are you hungry?" he asks. "You haven't eaten all day,"

"No thanks, I'm fine," I tell him with a fake smile.

"Hayley you have to eat," Taylor says to me with a look of concern.

"I did," I explain to him, hoping my lie wouldn't be noticeable. He lets go of the doorknob and sits on the end of the bed.

"When was the last time you put food or drink in your system," he asks me in a more serious tone of voice. I don't often hear this kind of Taylor so I know I have to be serious and honest. I hesitate before I admit the large amount of hours it's been since this.

"Probably about ten hours ago," I tell him. Half honest. If he finds out it's been over a day, he will freak out on me, and I can't let that happen.

"Sorry but I can't believe that," he tells me staring at me, causing me to end up nervous. I don't like this all too much.

"I'm not hungry, alright? If I was I would eat, so please just end it," I tell him looking down. I don't mean to snap at Taylor of all people, but I am terrified that he will find out and get mad at me.

"I'm sorry, Hayley, I didn't mean to offend you, I just-" he tries to say.

"I'm going on a walk," I interrupt him rudely, getting up off the bed. I don't know what came over me, and I know for a fact that all I did was make it more obvious that I lied to him; my best friend.

I slip my shoes on at the door and threw on my purple hoodie that was hanging by the door from earlier. I forgot to bring my phone with me, just because I'm stupid. Then I walk out, basically slamming the door, as if my body and my mind are completely different. My mind is telling me one thing and my body is saying another.

I honestly don't know what I'm doing. I got dumped by Chad, I self harmed, I haven't eaten in 26 hours, and I yelled at Taylor. What am I doing? What am I causing?

The spring night is chilly, so I pull my hood up and stick my hands in my pockets. Wherever I'm going, my body and mind are not thinking together. My legs feel like jelly, and my head is pounding along with my racing heart. I don't like the idea of walking outside, alone in the dark. No matter where I am. I'm such an idiot. I wish I brought my phone and some ear buds or something, so I can listen to music while I walk.

After walking for what seems like forever, I realize I have to go back. I have nowhere else to go. At the same time I can't bring myself to go back there. I can't run away from my problems, though.

As I walk 'home' it, out of nowhere, starts to rain cats and dogs. After fast walking for a couple of minutes, I am completely soaked. My hair that's under my hood still, is even soaking wet. I can understand my luck though. I have none of it.

Once I get there, the door is locked, so I knock. No answer. I knock again. The rain at this point has made me freezing cold and tired. Is he purposefully not answering the door? At least Taylor has a small porch...right? I'm still a mess though. I don't think the water proof makeup idea can even work in this situation.

I sit down on the wooden porch area, my back to the houses wall next to the door. I hug my legs and stick my head in my knees, letting a tear slip. I am furiously shaking out of the freezing cold, wet clothes I'm in. Who knew this could happen in the early spring too...

I sat for another hour or so, and it was still pouring rain. His car is in his drive way, so he must be home. I have to face the facts here. I'm not going to sleep in the warm and comfortable bed he has offered to me, because I screwed up. I can't even last one night without being an ignorant, careless, and dramatic bi**h.

"Hayley Nichole Williams," I hear a familiar voice say. I look up and can't help but smile.

"Taylor Benjamin York," I say with a giggle. He is soaking wet too, and since he didn't come out of the front door, I can only assume he went walking as well. "I was just about to give up on you," he tells me as I stand up.

"Give up on me?" I ask confused. I pull my hood down.

"I went looking for you. I was looking for two or three hours and when it started to rain, I got worried. I couldn't find you to apologize for offending you," he tells me softly.

"Apologize to me? I'm the dramatic idiot in this, T. I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm sorry," I say pulling him into a hug.

"I'm sorry for pushing you to answer me," he says, his chin on my head. "Let's get out of these wet clothes,"

"Okay," I agree, he pulls out his keys from his pocket and opens the door, letting me in first. Dork.

"Let me dry your hoodie," he tells me, as I take it off. We take off our shoes and I go into the guest bathroom telling myself one sentence. Five words.

He went looking for me.

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You know the usual. Sorry for the short chapters and lack of...well...good writing. Vote, comment, and share. Yup. Not happy right now. I'm moving to my friends house.

Ugh. Life is poopish sometimes. I like italics.