Never Let This Go *Paramore*

Chapter Eleven: The Breaking Point

"These feelings I can't shake no more

These feelings are running out the door

I can feel it falling down

And I'm not coming back around

These feelings I can't take no more

This emptiness in the bottom drawer

It's getting harder to pretend

And I'm not coming back around again,"

-Remember When; Avril Lavigne

---------------------------------------------------------------

------

Taylor's P.O.V.

As soon as those words hit me, her eyes widen and she realizes what she just told me. I can't handle this. This has gotten really bad. She was right though, by the time we got here, she was already gone. She isn't Hayley anymore.

I turn around, my eyes red and stinging. "Goodbye, Hayley," I tell her walking out.

"Taylor, wait, I didn't mean i-" I hear her trying to stop me, but I slam the door loud enough that I don't hear her finish. I'm done. I walk straight out of the front door of house, still severely sick to my stomach that she might get hurt, but I need a break.

I walk down the sidewalk, leading to wherever.

-----

Jeremy's P.O.V.

Taylor walks down the stairs and straight out of the door. I guess it didn't go well. It's not like we can give up though, because we could loose her. Death is permanent. "So she's at risk of...of...suicide?" Erica asks Kat and I. We both nod and Erica looks like she needs to throw up, and pass out too.

"Call the hospital," Erica tells us.

"The hospital?" Kat asks with a confused look.

"Not the physical hospital guys," she almost whispers.

"We can't call a mental hospital!" I whisper-yell.

"Jeremy, it's that or we let her die. Physically, mentally, and emotionally," she explains to Kat and I. Okay, now I want to throw up.

"I'll call and find information and whatever, Jeremy if you could talk to Hayley and tell her that she is just getting some help," Kat says. She walks into the living room with Erica and I go upstairs, into Hayley's room.

"Hayley, can we talk?" I ask her. I look down and find her crying in her knees leaning against the bed. I walk over to her and sit down, pulling her into a hug.

"I hurt Taylor, Jeremy. I deserve to die! I hurt him and he hates me now!" she says burying her face into my shoulder. It's breaking my heart into millions of pieces seeing her like this. The fact that we are shipping her off the mental hospital is sickening.

"Hayley, Taylor could never hate you. Ever. He hates the situation, alright? None of us could ever hate you, no matter what," I explain. "We scheduled something for you tonight that we think will help you, okay? It'll be okay, I promise,"

"Jeremy, I'm so so sorry," she whispers, shaking furiously.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Hayley," I assure her.

"My dad's funeral is tomorrow morning, I can't do anything tonight," she tells me. Damn it, I forgot.

"You get rest, okay? None of us want to force anything. We'll all be at the funeral tomorrow morning right next to you," I say helping her up. In her sweat pants and t shirt, I help her into the bed and pull the blankets onto her, and kiss her forehead. "I love you, Hayley, so much. You're my little sister. Never forget that, even when it seems like you have no one," she looks up at me with a smile and shiny eyes.

"I love you too, big brother," she says with a smile. That is my Hayley; and it warms my heart to hear her say that to me.

---------------------

The Next Morning

Taylor's P.O.V.

I don't completely agree with sending Hayley Nichole Williams to a mental institution, but I can't stop them. They decided to send her to the hospital tomorrow instead because of the funeral. I had to borrow Erica's boyfriend's extra tux, and Jeremy, well, it's a long story, for the funeral. I haven't seen Hayley this morning, it's really early, though. It's not even 9:00. Kat had to go out and buy a black dress last night.

I'm not honestly to angry at Hayley for what she told me yesterday, I'm just...disappointed. I know I can't hold her to what she said in this condition, it isn't fair.

We are all getting our breakfasts down, when Hayley appears in the doorway. Her dress is black, lace all on the chest and shoulder area, and her stomach down is all flowing fabric to a bit above her knees. She is wearing black heels, which she probably borrowed from someone, and a black head band with a black rose on the right side. She looks beautiful in it, her lips extra red, but she doesn't look happy. I didn't expect her to be, of course.

"Good morning," Kat says with a small smile. Hayley returns the smallest smile ever given and opens the refrigerator, pulling out a water bottle and leaving the kitchen. Erica looks just as depressed, a black dress that looks similar to Hayley's and the same look on her face. Oh so sorrowful.

None of us feel like doing a single thing, or saying a single thing either. I mean, who could blame us, though?

By the time we get to the funeral, McKayla, Hayley's step-mom, her real mom, her grandparents, and a bunch of other people I didn't know were there. Hayley is greeted by all of them one by one, and none of them try to hide behind a smile. Everyone is in tears, making me feel like I shouldn't be here when I know I should be.

I say a couple of prayers for Mr. Williams, and so does Jeremy and Kat, as a certain person I wasn't expecting shows up. Chad Gilbert. Hayley spots him and walks over to him, giving him a long hug. She practically ran into his arms. Then he leaned down to kiss Hayley! When did this even happen?

I can't help it when I walk over and 'greet' Chad. Hayley is now holding his hand. Now I want to throw up. "I didn't know you guys were back together?" I casually mention.

"A lot happened," Chad explains. Hayley just looks down. Hayley's granddat comes over and whispers something into Hayley's ear and she nods.

"We're all headed for the burial now," she says barely audible, letting a tear fall. Chad wipes it away for her and kisses her head.

"It's time to say goodbye," he whispers. She nods hesitantly and we all walk out of the small church and into the graveyard. I believe the rest of Hayley's family was buried here as well. A couple of us say a few words, and Hayley goes last.

"He left us a hero. He was and always will be one. I feel like the memories we've all had with him will always last, but we won't ever make more. Actually, I know that's true. We are sad that we can't have more memories, because if you're like me, you feel as if you didn't get enough in the time you had with him. I wasted those memories, thinking there would be plenty more to come, but when this happened, I broke. I have a witness. We all broke. It will be okay, though, because I'll see him again one day. We all will. Goodbye for now Daddy, I love you," she says looking down of his coffin. She cries some more but I can't comfort her. Only Chad can.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHOOPS! ANOTHER SHORT CHAPTER!

I did have three in one day, though...

Taylor is jealousssssss!!