Never Let This Go *Paramore*

Chapter Twelve: The Hospital

Please, please tell me you know

I've got to let you go

I can't help falling out of love

With you

-Falling; The Civil Wars

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Jeremy's P.O.V.

Today is the day that Hayley Williams goes to a mental health institution. It is only a place to be safe. That's it. You don't have to make your own decisions or do anything by yourself. They're going to test her for clinical depression, bipolar ll disorder, and ask about her eating as well, which apparently hasn't been so great. None of us told Chad or Hayley herself yet, because we don't know what happened and why they are suddenly together again.

Kat went upstairs to get her to pack a bag telling her she is going to stay somewhere...different for a while. She has to go to the one is Mississippi, instead of Tennessee, too, so Taylor, Kat and I are staying with Erica, McKayla, and her mom and will soon find a hotel.

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Hayley's P.O.V.

I have no idea where we are going. I'm terrified that we are going to go to Franklin again. I have to prove I'm still me though, and to do that I need to be agreeable, simple, and kind. This is me being kind and simple. When I see the building name on the sign at the front though, I forget those good qualities. "Jeremy, why the heck are we at a mental institution?!" I yell.

"It's just to keep you safe for a while. They are going to take care of you," he tells me while parking. I can't help but tear up about them thinking I'm a danger and I'm crazy.

"Why are you sending me here? Didn't you mean to drive to get ice cream or something?" I ask quietly, tears falling.

"Hayley, look at me, it isn't for long, okay? Maybe a day, maybe two, possibly three," he explains. "We're just worried for you," I bring my hands up to my face and wipe the tears away. They think I'm insane.

He grabs my stuff from the trunk and leads me in the front entrance. We wait for about an hour after signing me in, and a man comes out and makes me stand up holding a metal detector. He waves it around me and my stuff, while it beeps. "I'm going to have to check through your belongings," he says pulling my bag up and sitting in on the chair. This is ridiculous.

He ends up taking anything and everything that can possibly hurt me or someone else, my jewelry included. "Miss Williams I'm going to have to take that necklace too," he tells me looking at my silver heart. I forgot it was there. I've been wearing it for this past who knows how long even when Chad broke up with me. He gave this to me.

"No," I tell him. "You can take anything just not this," I tell him locking it in my fist.

"I don't see how it can hurt anyone without breaking first, so you know what, I think I'll find special permission, alright?" he says.

"Thank you, sir," I say. He nods with a smile. All of my off limits belongs are now going to be put away in a Ziploc bag out of reach.

"If you could follow me, we have some orientation routines to follow. Sir it's time to say goodbye," he says looking at Jeremy. I basically jump into his arms and bury my face in his chest.

"Wow little red, it's okay. It'll be fine, they have visiting hours every week day after dinner, I'll see you then. Taylor might come too," Jeremy tells me returning the hug.

"Might?" I ask. "Why might?"

"Things are hard for him right now," he tells me pulling away from our hug.

"What about Chad?" I ask quietly.

"He doesn't know about this just yet," Jeremy says.

"Leave it to you to completely forget about my boyfriend," I say with a frustrated look. I walk into the next room with the nurse, grabbing my bag, and I don't look back at the man who put me in a mental institution.

-----

"What's the name of the first U.S. president?" the nurse asks.

"George Washington," I answer. How crazy does he think I am?

"Today's date?" he asks.

"April 2nd, 2014," I say with a sigh.

"Alright you're not completely loony, we now know that," he says looking at me. I don't smile.

"Have you been sleeping well, at night?" he asks me.

"Once I fall asleep," I tell the nurse.

"How long does it take for that?"

"A couple hours," I respond.

"Have you had a smaller appetite, or larger?"

"Smaller. By a lot,"

"Do you have feelings of guilt, helplessly, or hopelessness?" he asks.

"Often,"

"Have you ever self harmed?" he asks. I don't answer verbally. I just pull up my sleeve and he nods, marking something in his big binder.

"Have you had trouble concentrating or making decisions?"

"Not that I can think of," I tell him shrugging. I hate answering these questions, but I hate lying. I know I've done that a lot, but I do feel guilty.

"Do you have unusually pessimistic thoughts and behaviors and feeling of emptiness and guilt?" the nurse looks up at me. I nod a yes.

"Unexplained physical pains or problems?"

"Not exactly unexplained because I wasn't eating," I answer quietly. He nods.

"Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed?" I nod yes. I used to do tons of things I suddenly have no motivation to even think about.

"Lastly, have you had any thoughts about death, suicide, had suicidal behaviors, or a suicide attempt?" he asks with a serious tone.

"Yes,"

"Well, Ms. Williams, I do believe that you have a common mental disorder known as clinical depression, or, very severe depression. Since you have tried to hurt yourself I also believe that you should stay here for a couple of days and she how it goes," he says. "This has been happening for over two weeks, correct?" I nod yes and he nods as well.

I. Hate. Everything. Right. Now.

Someone get me out of here...

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Short is the magic word.