Never Let This Go *Paramore*

Chapter Thirty: Tears and Smiles

"So I look to the world outside oh

All of a sudden, I'm eating my insides

The tiny words that break your heart,

They're breaking and entering

So I look but you're not by my side

Whatever happened to 'I would rather die'?

The things that make you fall apart

They're breaking and entering,"

-Breaking and Entering: Tonight Alive

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Hayley's P.O.V.

After a couple more hours, Jeremy goes home because it's getting late. Taylor hasn't woken up yet, it's starting to worry me. My phone buzzes next to me while I watch Taylor. I pick it up to see a text from a blocked number.

Want your precious boyfriend to wake up? If you cut two times, he will wake up within twenty minutes.

Your Puppet Master and Game Maker

G

She wants me to self harm for Taylor to wake up? Why? I mean, I would do anything for him, but why cutting? I'm going to do it for sure, though. I get up and put my phone down and walk to the bathroom, pulling out an extra razor, and dragging it against my skin. The pain is nothing new, but I didn't feel the need to this in the first place, so no relief is found.

I clean my mess and put a bandage on the cuts and look into the mirror. Ugly. I love my hair, but my eyes look like mud, my nose is too fat, and I'm too pale.

After an hour, Taylor is still not awake. Angela completely lied to me so that I would hurt myself? The thought triggers something in me, and I want to cry. I just want Taylor to wake up, that's all. I want him to be okay. I let a silent tear fall, and then all kinds of tears start to drop.

I'm sitting on the couch next to the one Taylor's laying on, and I don't think he moved a single bit. I quickly check his pulse, which is normal, and sit back down, looking at him. My phone starts to vibrate for the millionth time, this time it's a call.

"Hello?" I ask into the speaker.

"Hayley? It's Liz, they discharged me just now," Liz tells me through the phone.

"Really? Liz, that's great! You should come over tomorrow morning and we can catch up!" I suggest.

"I would love too! Hey, did you and Taylor ever get together?" she asks.

"We're dating now, he's the best," I explain glancing sadly to his limp body.

"That's good, I'm happy for you! What's your address for tomorrow?" I give her my address and the time she should come over and say goodbye, hanging up.

It's 10:39 right now, so I get into my pajamas and decide on another granola bar, because Taylor would want me to eat. I know I can't live off of granola bars, but I can try. I honestly can't believe Taylor is still 'sleeping'. It's been all day.

I start the fire place up, letting the bright flames be the only light in the house. An acoustic guitar of mine is sitting leaning against the wall next to the fire place, so I grab it. I haven't sung in a while, and I should because it truly is my escape. I need it for a few minutes.

"You escape like a runaway train,

off the tracks and down again,

my hearts beating like a steam boat tugging,