Never Let This Go *Paramore*

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Alone

"'Cause if you jump

I will jump too

We will fall together

From the building's ledge

Never looking back at what we've done

We'll say it was love

'Cause I would die for you

On skyway avenue,"

-Skyway Avenue; We The Kings

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Hayley's P.O.V.

It's been a full month of recovery. I've been taking a million different medications, but the pain is balanced out. Taylor helps me get by now, and Jeremy and Kat are often around. Even though my dad, Erica, and Justin are truly gone, Taylor, Mikayla, and my mom are here. It's better than loosing them all.

Life is a little easier without worrying about Angela, Liz, and Baylie. The men that worked for her were never caught, they are in hiding now. I am actually worried about Angela quite a bit, because she was dropped of all charges, and isn't in jail. Turns out, she is now in a mental institution with multiple disorders, making her a danger to others without the right treatment.

A while back, Taylor told me how they tortured him. He said it wasn't physical, but the pain was worse than a bullet. Apparently, Taylor was locked in a room tied to a chair, with a projector. It was playing tapes of me at my worst breakdowns. The first was from outside my bathroom. I was being video taped when my suicide attempt a while back. It also had my reaction to when Taylor was kidnapped, and finally when I thought he died.

Taylor was forced to watch those things. He saw me breaking, cutting, smashing a mirror...and there was another torture as well. He was locked in a concrete room with sounds. They were of me screaming and crying in multiple situations. "Hayley, Jeremy and I have to go but we'll see you soon," Kat tells me pulling me into hug. I smile and then hug Jeremy.

"See you soon," I say as they walk out the door with Bliss. I shut the door and Taylor and I jump onto the couch. I wrap my arms around him and take a moment be hold my world in my arms. "I never want to loose you again," I tell him not letting go.

"I'm not going anywhere," Taylor responds pulling me into a small kiss. I'm not exactly satisfied with that though, so I pull him in again, this time more passionately. I get that same old feeling in my stomach and giggle into the kiss.

"I love you so much," I tell him pulling away.

"I love you too," he responds stroking my cheek with his thumb. All of a sudden I feel the need to throw up, so I run up and head to the bathroom quickly, but I don't throw up. "Are you okay?" Taylor asks from the doorway.

"I feel sick," I tell him honestly.

"You should lay down," he tells me, leading me to the couch.

"No, I have to see my mom really soon," I respond.

"Hayley if you're not feeling well then you should rest," Taylor explains in a concerned voice.

"See you later, I have to go. Love you," I tell him pecking his lips and walking out the door.

-----

"Hey Mom," I say as she opens the door.

"How are you?" she asks sitting me down in the living room.

"Fine I guess," I tell her with a small sigh. I don't honestly know what the word 'fine' even truly means anymore. Especially considering the situation I'm in currently.

"Your side?" she asks. She has been checking in on the wound since the hospital.

"It's pretty good," I tell Mom with a nod.

After I finish with my mom, I decide on visiting Chad. I know he's home and we need to talk, so why not? The worst that could possibly happen with Chad is that he went to the store.

The drive is pretty short from my mom's place, so it's nothing to write home about. It takes a second for him to open the door, and when he does, he looks a little surprised to see me. "Hey," he says.

"Hey," I respond awkwardly. "Can we talk?" He nods and opens the door enough for me to walk in, then he shuts it. "Do you have any more information about why it was so important to get back at your family?"

"Hayley, after the weeks of torture, I think we need to take our detective hats off and try to get things back to normal," Chad tells me as we sit on the couch.

"I can't rest until I know, Chad. She tried to kill me and I want to know why," I explain. "Please,"

"All I know is that my parents did something bad enough to earn a coffin," he tells me. "If it was big enough it would've been in the news,"

"Exactly. Maybe it happened long enough ago that we didn't see it. Maybe I wasn't born yet and you were a kid," I suggest. "Maybe she doesn't want us to know and that's why she left,"

"Well maybe we shouldn't be doing this right now," Chad suggests.

"Chad she's in a mental institution remember? She's going to get out eventually and finish what she started," I explain standing up.

"Well I'm sorry that the mental hospital didn't work for you but that doesn't mean it can't help other people!" he yells standing up. I take a step back and cover my mouth with my hand, letting a silent tear fall.

"I'm so sorry Hayley, I didn't mean that at all, I'm sorry-" he tries to say stepping toward me. I step back again though.

"Save it," I tell him barely audible. With that I walk out the door, and drive back back to my house, where I will be alone again. Unprotected. I will be alone, and no one has to make me eat or drink. No one has to make me stop looking at my wrist spelling out FREAK in big letters. No one can explain to me how lovely I am when I push them away.

I know that this thing with Angela isn't over. It can't be. It won't be. If someone tries to kill me, I'm going to want to know why. These problems are only starting, aren't they? I have a lot to uncover and if no one will help me, I have to do it myself. If I have to, I will do this alone. I'm never going to be able to let this go.

«End of Book One»

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Alright guys, I will have another book, I just haven't found a name yet, so look out for it. Sorry this was a little short.

The next book will be intense, but yes, Fall Out Boy will be in it a little. Not a lot because first of all, this isn't based off of Fall Out Boy, and second, despite the fact that I love their band, I don't know them as well as I know Paramore. Thanks for reading this, I loved writing it.