a/n: woah 777 reads aye das lucky and 116 votes. woooooop woooooop thank you so much beans. lmao anyways i'm in a rough situation with my parents and coming out n stuff, so updating is just as much as a pain as forcing myself to write. i mean, there are people who make lfie so much better and make me really happy, but i honestly am still in a really tough position. thank you for being patient. and im sorry i didnt get this out sooner... :( anyways love you <3 ~susanna
*POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING*
*Mark's POV*
I can't bear this. I haven't talked to Ethan for a long time, and who knows what he's doing. There was a post on his twitter that was him sitting next to a fan on the plane, and then he saw her later at what was probably Chipotle. It scares me. Sure, she wasn't nearly as old as him, but she could be capable of a lot. There are some crazy people out there. So instead, I silently cried in my room, wishing Ethan were here. Tyler texted me asking if I wanted takeout. I replied no and wondered if I should text Ethan. My finger hovered over the send button after I typed a quick greeting, but I quickly deleted it before I had the chance to makes things worse.
That's all I ever do. Mess things up. I messed things up with Amy, I messed things up kinda with Jack and Tyler, I messed things up with Ethan. I'm a messup. That's all I've ever been. What's going on with me? I slowly stood up and dragged myself into the bathroom. I stared at my sunked eyes and ragged hair in the mirror. I was feeling droswy. I looked down at the drawer below me. I reached down to open it. There it was, shiny and waiting for me. I bent down to bring it out, when my phone buzzed. It was the only person in my messages I had set a personal, recorded ringtone for.
"Wowie!" my phone buzzed and I immediately shut the cupboard. I reached for my phone in my back pocket and smiled as I read the message:
from ethan <3: i wish you were here. sophie is staying at the house. nonetheless, im more lonely than ever without you. :(
to ethan <3 : im so alone.
to ethan <3 : i'd do anything just to be with you.
from ethan <3 : me too. send pic? wanna kno that ur ok :)
I ran outside as fast as I can, and Chica followed me right out. I must've forgotten to let her out, because she took a dump right as I took the photo. I sighed and laughed, but sent it to Ethan anyways.
to ethan <3:
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from ethan <3 : hello beautiful.
to ethan <3 : hah. beautiful is overrated.
from ethan <3 : still. u r beautiful.
to ethan <3 : fine. you win. for now.
from ethan <3 : yay! i gtg for now but ill txt u later, bai (●'ω｀●) <3
I sighed. Oh, how I love my little blue boy. I slowly closed the cabinet door and headed out of the bathroom, before I could tempt myself again. I wish Ethan were here. I just want to hug him and reassure him. I don't want to have to say goodbye again. The pain rose over me again, but I looked at our previous conversation and smiled. I do wish he was here, though. I would hold his hand and hold him close.
I wouldn't let go.
a/n: ^.^ chapterssssssss theyre fun to write... so im now lowkey obsessed with undertale... thanks. ;) bai for now.
