The rest of the week was rather depressing. You didn't do much apart from wedding preparations, getting shouted at and listening to music; which always seems to remind you of Phil. It feels like years since you last saw him, which makes your heart ache.
You've never felt anything like this before, but you don't like it.
Sure, you love it when you're with him.
Your heart flutters.
Your smile is wider than ever before.
Your brain turns to mush and you can barely control what you're going to say.
It's the happiest you've ever felt.
What is this feeling?
But when he's gone, you feel empty.
Your heart is in agony.
Your frown is bigger than ever before.
Your brain is too occupied with you overthinking every single thing. It feels like your mind is a prison, and nobody visits.
It's the saddest you've ever felt.
What is this feeling?
You're lying on your bed, crying while listening to 'the light behind your eyes' by My Chemical Romance.
You've been crying while listening to any song at all lately, mainly because they were all shown to you by Phil.
You miss Phil.
You wipe away the tears with a sniff before closing your eyes and mouthing along to the chorus.
If I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
I' failed and lost this fight
Never fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as bright.
You allow yourself to let out one loud sob, then grab a pillow and smash it over your face.
You want to scream and cry and shout and smash everything. But you can't.
Your life isn't yours.
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
You slowly hold your hand up to the area of your chest in which your heart is located and trace circles around it.
It physically hurts.
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
The light behind your eyes
"It's for the best." You whisper to yourself.
The light behind your eyes.
Your just going to weigh him down.
His future is bright, with or without you. Mostly without you.
The light behind your eyes
You should just give up the fight and marry Darren.
It was always going to come to this.
You close your eyes and think of Phil. It's the last time you plan to allow yourself to do so.
His ebony black hair which is placed perfectly on his head.
His pale white skin which can be practically translucent at times.
His perfect smile that could light up any room.
And his shining blue eyes, which you see every time you close your eyes.
He is one of the most perfect people you've ever met, and it kills you that you'll never see him again.
But it's for the best.
The light behind you eyes
It's for the best.
Sorry this is short
YOU ARE READING
Now (AmazingPhil X Reader)
FanfictionY/N is 19 years old. The rest of her life has been perfectly planned by her family. Marry the man her parents chose for her, have children, have grandchildren, never work a day in her life. But when she meets a man named Phil Lester, she realises ma...
