roommate

roomate [19]

chapter 19

ali.

I wanted to talk to him, but he was so stubborn. Making up excuses about having a headache or just being tired.

I could see trough his bullshit easily.

That's probably why when he was still pissed the next morning I took it upon myself to find out what was so wrong and if not, try and put him into a better mood.

I emerged from my room in my fuzzy pajama's and spotted him sitting at the kitchen island scrolling through his phone. He didn't look up, and I knew he heard me come out.

"hey" i yawned, sitting on the stool right next to him.

he acknowledges me with barely and nod and continues to scroll through his phone. this pisses me off, maybe it shouldn't but boy does it.

"How are you?" i say softly, placing my hand lightly on his arm. He flinches and looks up at me with emotionless eyes.

"Ali, can't you see that i just want to be fucking alone? I'm sick and tired of y-" He starts in an annoyed tone, but before he can finish off his stupid sentence i smash my lips into his.

He kiss was angry, rough, and full of lust. I knew that he didn't want to talk, but maybe i could make it through to him this way.

I pulled away, but he wasn't having it. He pulled me back with such force that I crashed into his chest. He pulled me up onto his lap and i whimpered. 

He grabbed my bottom with a little too much force for my liking, but i ignored it, thinking that he wouldn't do it again.  

When his hand started to pull at the band of my pants I pulled away with as much force I could muster. 

"Jack stop." I said and when he didn't I started to panic.

"JACK I SAID STOP." tears were welling in my eyes, when he noticed this he pulled away immediately and blinked as if he was waking up from a dream.

"baby i'm so so-" he started, but i got off him, shaking my head.

"don't, jack. leave me alone for now." i say, wrapping my arms around myself and walking to my room, shutting the door softly and making sure to lock it. I walked to the bathroom quickly and made sure to lock that door too.

I turned on the water and didn't bother to make sure it was hot before getting in. I stood there for a while, absolutely still and silent. I was frozen.

Was i overreacting?

He was my boyfriend now.. was he aloud to do that?

I knew deep down that it wasn't, but i could not help but let my imagination wonder on if that was the new 'normal' I had more self respect than that,  but should I? Should I sacrifice my self respect for him?

Fuck no.

I didn't notice I was crying until I tasted salt on my lips, stinging them. I broke down. I slid down the cold tile wall of the bathroom and let the sobs escape my lips, one after another. I was gasping for air but I couldn't stop myself. Even the shower didn't surprise the sound and when I heard Jack pounding on the bedroom I tried my hardest to calm myself down.

I stood up, sniffling and scrubbed myself with soap for minutes. I washed my hair and after being completely rinsed, I grabbed myself a towel. I hiccuped and wiped away my silent tears. I looked at myself in the mirror for a while.

I dragged myself away and slipped on my bathrobe that was hung on the door. i exited the bathroom and the first thing i saw Jack sitting against my bedroom door. He stood up as soon as he heard the door creak open and approached me.

He hugged me. I was too weak to argue. I couldn't handle it, I burst into tears again, my arms lay limp at my sides as he tried to comfort me. I hated him, but  I- I l-

"Ali, baby, i'm so sorry." Sorry doesn't fix this.

I sniffled and pulled away from his grip, then made my way to my bed, not wanting to deal with this bullshit anymore. I just wanted to help him. I never should've kissed him.

I buried myself under the covers, leaving jack and letting myself slip away into blackness.

Jacks pov.

When her breathing evened out I carefully sat by her feet, looking at her beautiful, tear stained face. From me.

"When I was eight my dad died." I started, feeling the tears already welling up in my eyes. "He was my everything... He would always lift my spirits and tell me I was good enough. He taught me everything. He never let me down." I sighed, images from the past spilling into my mind.

"My mom was broken after, but she handled it in the wrong way.." I said, sighing again. "She lived at her work building, I knew she was hooking up with people from the marks on her neck, and that angered me. So so much.  I knew she was drinking from the countless times she would come home stumbling to find her bedroom." A tear slid down my face and I wiped at it furiously.

"My older sister nearly raised me." I said, smiling about the thought of Maggie. "When i graduated from high school and my mom showed to the ceremony drunk I lost it. I didn't talk to her for years, not until I moved in with you..." I looked at her fragile frame again. She looked fragile, but I knew she was one of the strongest girls I knew.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. There is no excuse for that. I hope someday you can forgive me." More tears slipped down

"You're my everything. Please don't leave me." I managed to choke out, than i silently got up from her bed and shut off her lights on my way out, stealing one more glance at her.

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a/n

thoughts on this?

-madeline