Jump (Dear Evan Hansen)

Sirens

My face prickles with numbness as I hear sirens surround the Murphy house. I go to turn towards the window but Zoe grabs my arm. "Evan, I don't want you looking out that window unless it's going to make you feel better. Does anybody else know that you are up here?" My eyes widen in concern and sweat forms on my forehead.

"M-m-Mrs. Murphy," I say as I choke on my tears, trying to hold them back. My hands are shaking and Zoe grabs onto them. My vision blurs as my eyes well up with tears again. The continuous sound of sirens echo outside. My chest tightens and a wave of dizziness comes over me. Zoe grabs onto my shoulders, letting go of my shaking, sweaty hands. "Let's wait for her to come back upstairs, okay?" I nod and gulp nervously as I feel my breaths become tighter. I start to mutter Zoe's name over and over again. "Shhhh, it's okay Ev. Hug?" I nod again and she wraps her arms back around me. I cling tightly to her and then see Mrs. Murphy come through Connor's door.

"Evan- oh, hi Zoe," she says in shock. Zoe slowly removes herself from our hug and turns to face the door, but keeps one arm around me. Zoe gives a small wave to her mom and I feel her arm tense. Mrs. Murphy's face is stained with tears and concern. "Um, Connor is alive," she says, and I sigh with relief, "but we did call 911 to take precautions." The sirens. I bolt upwards onto my knees, and scoot over to the window. I place my hands on the sill and look out at the window at an ambulance and two police cars. I see a man in a paramedics outfit close the ambulance door. I hop up, leap over Zoe, run past Mrs. Murphy almost pushing her into the wall, down the stairs, and out the door. My feet propel me towards the ambulance, and a paramedic rushes towards me.

"Is everything alright, sir?" The man asks as I realize I'm a sweaty mess.

"I need to get in. I need to ride with Connor. Connor needs me."

"Are you sure, sir? You don't look-"

"I'm his boyfriend. He needs me. I know him. I know that he can't be without somebody he loves in that ambulance." I give the man hopeful eyes. He stares at me for a minute, then sighs.

"Let me get the door for you," he mumbles. As he opens the door, I hear a voice call my name. I turn and see Mrs. Murphy running towards me. She reaches me, and places her hand on my shoulder.

"Evan," she says, "maybe I should go with Connor. Larry can drive you and Zoe to the hospital, okay?" I sense longing in her eyes, and it makes me think of Connor and I'd date at the arcade, when he called Cynthia mom, and the look in her eyes when he said that.

"Ma'am, is Connor your son?" I get snapped out of my thoughts by the paramedic's question. Cynthia nods. "Alright. Why don't you come with me and the boyfriend can get a ride to the hospital." Cynthia nods again, and tears choke my throat. I watch as she climbs into the back of the ambulance with the man, and they close the doors.

As they drive out of the driveway, I start sobbing uncontrollably. "CONNOR," I scream through tears as I run down the driveway. Somebody grabs my shoulder and I stop running, but reach my arm out as the ambulance drives away. I turn and see that Zoe is the one who stopped me. I clutch onto her in a hug and sob into her shoulder. Zoe rubs her right hand up and down my back, trying to calm me.

"Evan, my dad can drive us to go see Connor, okay?" I nod and continue to messily weep into her. My face reddens with the embarrassment of covering her shirt with snot and tears. We hear the honk of a car horn and look up, still keeping our arms around each other.

"Hop in," Mr. Murphy says. I run from Zoe, fling the door open and leap into the car desperate to get to Connor, but find myself of the floor of the car. Quickly, I get up and rip my seatbelt across my body. Zoe climbs into the seat next to me with more grace. As we leave the driveway, Zoe grabs my hand, and I glance down at it. Our two hands, mine a mess from biting my nails, and her's, which is practically perfect, are holding on tightly to each other, our fingers intertwined. The car ride is filled with mostly silence, except for the low hum of the radio and the cars surrounding us. We pull into the hospital and anticipation eats away at me.

After Mr. Murphy finally finds a spot inside of the parking garage, he turns the key and the engine slows to a stop. I get out of the car much slower than I got in, and as our footsteps echo in the silence, Zoe leans into my shoulder and whispers, "he'll be fine, Evan."

But I'm not too sure if I believe her.