Jump (Dear Evan Hansen)

Classic Connor

"Hi, we're here to see Connor Murphy."

Click, click, click.

"Can I ask your relation to Mr. Murphy? We are only allowing family to visit him at this time."

Gulp.

"I'm his father."

"Okay, may I see your drivers license sir?"

Click. Click. Print.

"Thank you, here is your license. If you can wear this sticker on your shirt, that would be appreciated."

"Okay, thank you. They're also with me."

"Okay, can I ask their relation to Mr. Murphy?"

"Zoe is his brother. Evan is his friend."

Click, click, click.

"I'm sorry, but his friend will have to stay here."

"No," I say firmly, causing Zoe, Larry, and the receptionist to all look at me with wide eyes. "I need to see Connor. I'm his boyfriend." The woman looks in surprise at my statement.

"I-I see. How about I make you and Zoe some passes so you can go see Connor?"

The passes only take a minute or two to make, and then Zoe and I stick them on our shirts. We follow Mr. Murphy down the endless hallways and in and out of elevators to get to Connor's room. I stop when we are a few doors down from Connor's room. "Zo," I whisper, "if you don't mind me calling you that." Zoe smiles. "I'm nervous? Are you sure he's alright? Do I look okay?" Zoe giggles.

"Evan, he's going to be okay. And you, you look amazing." I feel a warmth fill my body and we continue to head towards Connor's room in the hospital. Mr. Murphy enters first, and then Zoe, and then me. I can barely see Connor through Zoe and Mr. Murphy.

"Evan," I hear a weak voice say. Although it's raspy, I can still tell it's Connor. He noticed me out of everyone in this room. Zoe moves out of the way and I nervously step forward. Connor is sitting up in the hospital bed in a hospital gown with an IV in his arm and the bottom of his arms along with his legs under a light blanket.

"C-Connor", I stutter as I search for something else, anything to say. I can feel all four pairs of eyes on me. "I am so sorry-"

"Don't apologize," Connor says, and I can sense more strength in his voice. I smile, and laugh a little causing Mrs. Murphy looks at me confused.

"I'm glad you're okay, buddy," I say, glancing at Mrs. Murphy after my statement. Connor smiles at me, and my heart almost breaks. I wish I could repay him for all he's done.

"Look," he says, breaking the short minute or two of silence. "We're twins now," he says as he pulls his right arm from under the blanket, revealing a white cast hugging his arm. "I guess we've almost gone full circle," he laughs. I look down at the cast on my left arm and the big letters that spell out CONNOR.

"C-can I sign your cast?" Connor pulls out, almost as if he's been waiting for this moment, a black sharpie from his pocket and hands it to me. Slowly, I write EVAN, taking up most of the cast, and Connor laughs.

"By the way, is this yours?" Connor asks as he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out something else. He hands it to me. I observe the folded piece of paper, open it, and scan my eye over it.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Turns out this wasn't an amazing day after all. This isn't going to be an amazing week or an amazing year, cause why would it be?

The note.

Oh, I know, I know, because there's Zoe, and all of my hope is pinned on Zoe who I don't even know, and who doesn't even know me.

I inhale deeply. He held onto it. At the bottom, I see something scrawled in pen.

Dear Connor Murphy,

I wish I was amazing enough to make his day, or week, or maybe even his whole year amazing. I wish I was stable enough for Evan to pin some hope on me, and I wish that I could tell him how I felt. But what do you do when there is such a great divide? I feel so far away from Evan, from Zoe, from my parents, from everybody. It weird how love can screw you in the back that way.

Sincerely your best and most dearest friend,
Me
(Is this supposed to help this Hansen kid??)

I feel tears in my eyes by I still manage to spit out a laugh at the last line. "You kept it," I say, my heart warming.

"Kept what?" Mrs. Murphy asks.

"Mom," I hear Zoe say under gritted teeth. "Your ruining the moment." I smile and hold the paper against my chest. Connor smiles back at me, doing that adorable little smirk.

"How could I let go of it. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm sorry I took it.

"Don't apologize," I say, and Connor laughs. But I mean it. If only he knew that the only reason I came over the afternoon after I saved him, and got injured and taken to the hospital and then came back for dinner with my mom, finally saw Connor for who he was, stood up for him, and then welcomed him with open arms to sob on my shoulder, was because of that note. Most of our relationship is because of that note.

"Evan, can you... come closer to me?" Connor asks. Carefully, I fold the note and glide it into my pocket before walking closer to Connor's side. He takes his non-broken arm and places it on the back of my head, pulling my lips towards him. He kisses me. With his entire family watching. He just got beat up, but he doesn't forget about us. He uses that little bit of strength that he has left, and kisses me, on the lips.

He may have been sorry for taking that note at first, but maybe he realizes the importance of it too.

Connor Murphy stood up for me when nobody else would. When nobody else could, because I only felt comfortable talking to Connor. Connor punched Chase William's in the gut and let Chase and his friends punch and kick him to the point he broke his arm. For love.

We're close, and in that way.