Jump (Dear Evan Hansen)

Panicked Planning

A/N: Okay wow thank you all so much for your support of this book. I never thought that it would gain this kind of popularity. This A/N is dedicated to this beautiful art Ava_Hamilton made for Jump. Thank you!

It turns out Zoe was fine. We called the Murphys, who drove Connor and I to the accident, and it turns out it was just a little scratch. We all ended up going to Á La Mode and having a great time.

Is what I would love to say.

But instead I'm waiting for news on Zoe Murphy's wellbeing as my stomach swirls and knots.

Connor's eyes widen. "You did what? No, don't cry Zo, don't cry. It's okay. Please Zoe. We'll figure it out. Evan will know what to do."

"What?" I squeak out. Me? Help? "C-Connor I'm usually not the problem solver in these situations. Actually, I'm pretty sure I'm always the problem maker. Wait," I say, tension spiking in my voice. "I don't even know what I'm solving! There's a problem! Zoe's in trouble Connor and I can't solve problems I never solve problems what do I do!?"

I start to breath heavily and Connor balances the phone between his shoulder and ear. He grabs my shoulders and I look into his eyes. "Calm. Down." I continue to look into his eyes, waiting for more words, but he just leaves it at those two. He's relying on you,  Evan. He has faith in you. I take a deep breath and feel a little more confidence enter my bones.

"What happened?" I ask Connor, and he puts the phone up against his chest.

"I'm not really sure where, or how, but Zoe managed to crash the car."

I gasp.

"She did what?"

"That's what I said!"

"Ohmygodohmygodohmygod Connor! That's not good."

"No duh!"

"We should call my mom."

"What? No!"

"But she'll know what to do!"

"Yeah... call my parents and get my sister busted! And anyways, don't waste your data plan, she's right inside of that building which is like five feet from you."

"Oh. But what do we Connor oh my gosh Zoe crashed the car!?!?!" Inhale, exhale, inhale exhale inhaleexhale inhaleexhaleinhaleexhale. I feel my breathing become shallower as the entering and exiting of air becomes faster and faster.

"Hold on Zo, Ev is freaking out," I hear Connor say; but it feels like he's a million miles away. I feel sweat formulate on my palms and my head begin to ache.

"What? Zoe I can't just hang up on you. Yeah, he's my boyfriend, but- are you sure? Okay."

I sit on the sidewalk against the wall of the rough concrete building and shut my eyes in attempt to block out the world. I pull my legs close to my chest and flashbacks bombard my head. The time when I skipped school with Connor. The time when my father shoved me to the floor and I came running to Connor's arms. The time when I had a nightmare and Connor cradled me in his arms. The time when I accidentally told Connor that the only time I was confident was when I was defending him, ran to the park, tripped, and he carried me to the play set. The time when everyone was staring at me and Connor came to my rescue in the bathroom.

I feel the vibration of footsteps pounding against the ground. Someone has come running. The footsteps stop and I open my eyes, revealing Connor. I look at his face. His eyes are swirling with concern and his mouth is in a frown instead of a smirk. I notice that he is on one knee, almost like when someone proposes.

"Its gonna be okay, Ev."

"But Zoe-"

I find myself unable to speak due to Connor's lips connecting with mine. It's a gentile kiss, and he releases from it after a few seconds. "Evan Hansen. I am here for you. I can't believe I'm asking you this, but do you need me to carry you bridal styled to the house and get your pills?"

"Istoppedtakingthem."

"What?"

"I stopped taking my pills, Connor. You were helping me so much that I didn't think unneeded them anymore."

Silence.

"That... that was awkwardly romantic," Connor mumbles. I attempt a light laugh, and Connor cracks a smile. As we stare into each others eyes, I hear the door open.

"Yes, I'm just going on my- Evan. Oh, one second please." I look up and see my mom hanging up her phone and rushing to Connor and I's side. "What happened? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," I say, trying to play it off.

"Evan, your palms are sweating and your face is flushed and Connor is kneeling in front of you. Do you boys need anything?"

I stare at Connor with wide eyes. Should I tell her? Yes. Does he want me to tell her? Probably not. But is it in my best interest to-

"Yeah, actually, Ms. Hansen, we might need some help," Connor says willingly, which shocks me so much that I don't feel any of the weight expectedly lift off my shoulders. I watch as he stands up. "Um, so I have a sister-"

"Zoe," mom says, cutting him off.

"Zoe," he repeats, and nods, almost trying to confirm that she didn't disappear since he hung up with her. That she still exists. That she's okay. And breathing. And alive. He pauses, letting the one word expand into a million thoughts. I hop up from the ground.

"MOM ZOE GOT IN A CAR ACCIDENT WHAT DO WE DO?!" I blurt out anxiously and wrap my arms around her. She hugs back, and I rest my head on her shoulder. My lip quivers and she only holds me closer. I close my eyes and escape into my head.

Zoe Murphy just crashed a car.

"Connor," I say, determined, "are there any other drivers involved?"

"Ummm, let me call Zoe?" Silence. "Hey Zo, so I think Evan might be onto something. Did you crash into someone else's car? Mhm, I see, okay. One second Zoe." He puts the phone to his chest. I stay secured in my mom's arms, but my eyes wide open. This is real. I'm awake. This is reality.

"She says there was a driver coming head on into her and she swerved to protect herself."

Good. That means that nobody can sue for Zoe damaging their car. And plus, she was defending herself.

This is good. We're okay. Things might actually be okay. Alright. You actually know what you're doing.

It's good to see you again, Confident Evan.