Imagine Me Darker

Chapter 20

Once I get to the bathroom I fix the lights and lock the door. I pace the room, hoping Dark will be here soon. I can only imagine Dark having to drag or carry Anti. He's probably in so much pain...

Suddenly I hear it. Dark peeks into the mirror, sees me, and smirks.

"Happy now?" He reveals himself and Anti in his arms. Anti's skin is blooming with purple and blue blemishes. He's worse, so much worse than before. His left eye is swollen. The gashes are deeper. There is so much more blood, crimson red, staining his clothes and skin. The part of Anti that isn't blue or violet or red, is white. Pale, ashen white. I let out a soft asp and brush the mirror. His breathing, slow and steady, seems to be a lot of work for him.

"Dark, what did you do?"

"I-I didn't, I mean, you know what? You came to see him, now you know he's alive, what more do you want?"

I feel the rage building up in me, "Dark, do you really love Anti? You're leading him on, aren't you? Because, according to your actions, you don't give a shit about him."

Dark opens his mouth, then closes it. His eyes flare with frustration and he's about to counter when another voice interrupts us.

"Jack?" the voice comes from the other side of the door, "Hey Jack, I need to talk to you."

I glance at the door, then back to Dark. He's smirking, satisfied with this valid reason not to answer my question.

"Be right out!" I call. Then, I get close to the mirror, my lips inches away from the glass.

"Don't. Move."

I storm over to the door, and whip it open.

"What Mark?" I snap.

Mark looks taken aback and mutters, "I just wanted to tell you that I called the psychiatrist. "

"Oh," I say adjusting my tone, "What did he say?"

"Well I described your situation and he suggested to get in as soon as possible." I noticed he didn't say our situation. I thought we were in this together.

"Cool," I reply, then kiss him on the cheek, "Thanks babe."

Mark smiles, "So you wanna keep me company while I finish editing?"

"Nah," I tease, "I don't want to distract you with my pretty face."

"True, true. I don't know how I ever get my work done with you around," he flirts, putting a hand to my hair.

"I don't know. I-" I pause, listening.

"Jack? Jack, where are you?"

Anti.

"Well, you better go get working," I say, trying to match my earlier tone, "And when you're done, then we can have some real fun."

Mark doesn't seem to have noticed that I sound different and reply "Okay Jack-a-rooney." He winks at me and goes back to his room.

I rush into the bathroom, quieter this time, and look for Anti and Dark.

"Anti?" I call out, "Dark? Anti? Where are you?"

Suddenly I hear a groan and see Anti slumped against the edge of the mirror.

"Anti, what happened?" His head rolls on his neck and he sees me. He smiles and says, "Long time no see Jack."

"What happened? What did he do to you?"

He attempts to sit up, winces, and relaxes against the wall again.

"What do you mean?" he says, "I'm completely...fine."

"Anti, enough of this bullshit. We both know you're not okay," I fume, "Where is that son of a bitch? Anti, how can you just let Dark hurt you?"

"It's not like that Jack. You wouldn't understand."

"You're right. I wouldn't or couldn't understand. Where in your right mind would it be acceptable to let yourself get mauled everytime Dark has a tantrum?"

Now tears are falling down Anti's face.

"How do you know what we're going through. What Dark's going through. What I'm going through. Do you know why I'm like this? Do you really, truly know? He does not mean to hurt me. Half the time he doesn't even know what he's doing. The reason I go through this pain is so you don't have to. Dark wants you. Needs you. It's not his fault, that's just who he is. If I let him go to you when he's in that state of mind..." he trails off, still crying, "So, I have to convince him to stay. I beg, plead, anything to keep him away from you."

My head starts to spin. Anti is taking my pain?

"B-But why does he beat you up?" I whisper.

"He thinks it's my fault. He thinks that the reason he can't have you is because of me, because I exist," he gently rubs his eyes, "I mean, I don't blame him. To be fair, if I wasn't around he would get you."

"Why do you give yourself up...for me?" I stammer, "I mean, don't get me wrong, I appreciate all of...this. It's just..."

"Jack. I can't die. Dark and I, we're your phantoms, and phantoms can't die. We can get close, but we never, truly die. Humans, like you, they can't come back."

I don't know what to say. I feel bad for calling Anti out, but I still don't understand.

"So, Dark just randomly freaks out?"

"Kinda. I mean, he's definitely not in control of his actions. He almost goes into this psychotic state. Which is kinda ironic..."

I frown, "He just gets set off?"

"Yeah. Then I have to try to restrain him," Anti takes a shaky breath, "When I start trying the yelling starts."

"What does he say?"

"He does berserk. He shouts at me, saying it's all my fault. Telling me he wishes I was dead. Saying he hates me, and wants to kill me, but he knows he can't. But he's certain got close."

Anti shudders, "This, all of this, drives him insane."

"This?"

"The continuing cycle of these psychotic phases, fighting his way through me, realizing what he's done, then trying to get back in control."

I stay silent, knowing that nothing I could say would help.

"Where did he run off to?" I say after a minute.

"Who knows," Anti shifts again, trying to get more comfortable, "Dark is not one to show vulnerability. He always wants to be the strong one. The rock.

Something tugs in the back of my mind and I remember thinking the same thing about Mark.

Maybe Mark and Dark aren't all that different after all.

Minutes pass and I watch as Anti tries to steady his breathing.

"I'll be fine, Anti assures me as he struggles to stand up. His legs almost give out, but he steadies himself himself along the edge of the mirror.

"Are you sure?" Anti shifts up the mirror, his shirt sliding up. I see his stomach, (as toned as mine, might I add) but all I see is bruises along his stomach. They've already swelled and probably very tender.

"I wish I could help," I say quietly.

"Jack I-"

"You shouldn't have to go through all of this just so I don't get touched. It's not fair."

Anti pauses.

"Life's not fair, especially yours, " Anti smirks, "That why I'm protecting yours."