I wake to the sound of deep humming. At first, I think it's just a fan, but then I realize.
"Mark?"
"Yeah baby?" Mark asks.
I bite my lip, "I-I'm sorry."
"It's okay. You're stressed, we both are," he strokes my cheek.
As I lay in bed, Mark brushes my hair, the feeling of calm blows over us. I know that there's something I should say to him. Because, as we both now, things won't be the same anymore.
"Mark?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you stay?"
He smiles, "Of course."
"Not just now," I interrupt.
Mark frowns, "Jack, what's the matter?"
"N-Never mind," I shift, and I put my back to him. I feel the bed shift as Mark stands up and leaves. My heart sinks, and I feel slightly guilty. I didn't mean to push him away, I was only trying to tell him to come closer.
Suddenly, Mark walks back in. He's wearing a t-shirt that tightens around his biceps, and baggy basketball shorts. He throws back my blankets, and slides in next to me.
"It's getting pretty late," Mark murmurs, and puts his head inches from mine. He covers up back up, shifts to get comfortable, then rests his hand on my cheek. A barrier inside me breaks, and I start crying.
"Sean, what's wrong?"
I melt to his touch, and I put my forehead to his.
"It's just," I whisper. I want to tell him, but I don't have the words.
"It's just...I love you."
"I love you too Seanie-"
No that's not," I sigh.
Mark gives me a confused look.
"I love you Mark. And I want to for a long time. As long as possible. But I'm scared. We don't know what's gonna happen," I trail off.
"Hey," he says, wiping away my tears, "Seanie, who says you're gonna change?"
I shake my head and pull him closer.
"Just promise me one thing," I ask.
"Anything," he replies.
"No matter how much I change, don't let me push you away. The next couple of months are going to be rough-" my voice catches, "...and I can't do it alone."
Mark kisses my cheek, then my nose, then my forehead.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Promise?"
Mark smiles, and kisses the tip of my nose once more, "Yes."
YOU ARE READING
Imagine Me Darker
Fanfictionphan·tom//noun//a ghost or a figment of the imagination Something is wrong with Jack. One second he is recording and the next he is in the doctor's office awaiting his diagnosis. It wasn't Jack's idea. Mark is the one who told him to go. He didn't w...
