Undercover Star

♪ Eleven ♪

Although my dad and I were alike, we were never close. At all. It was funny, because I was an only child, yet I still was not one of his favorite people. He seemed to love his career and friends more than me.

I couldn't say that I was totally innocent in the matter. I didn't really do too much to try to fix our relationship. I was rude to him when he was rude to me. I didn't realize it until I thought about it: I was growing up to be just like him.

We were the same, and that's why we didn't get along. We had identical acting careers, though we never did the same movies. That would never turn out well.

It was hard to have someone who could so easily help you out not even glance in your direction. He didn't care if I acted in three trillion movies. He didn't care if I quit acting and started going downhill like so many unfortunate people who were once in my place. He would just shrug it off, maybe even take three seconds of his precious time to send me a foreboding text message like he did that night.

He didn't even have the decency to call. I get it; he was angry. What father wouldn't be when their son basically threw their career in the trash. At least, that's probably how he saw it. But wouldn't it be more effective to yell at me through a phone call? Seems like it.

It would also be a miracle if he asked how the trip was going. He took it as a death wish to my career. He thought I was done for in Hollywood, and maybe I was.

I didn't want my career to end so abruptly; lots of famous people take a break. I guess my hiatus was just sudden, and people are forced to use their imagination.

I wondered what I would do if I went back and my fans didn't care about me anymore. My story wasn't interesting anyway; I was on an undercover trip. It sounded pathetic. Would I try to find a movie anyway? Would I still start recording my new alblum, hoping someone would buy it? I hoped my career wouldn't end because of this trip, but at the time, I didn't really care.

My life would really change if that happened, though. My father would probably never speak to me again, and I would even lose Rich. He annoyed the living daylights out of me, but at least he was part of my life. It would be just my mom and I. Sure, she'd be much better off than me, getting my dad's money and going to his parties. But I knew she wouldn't leave me in the dust. I would have to find a way to get money and move on with my life, if that was even possible. People everywhere knew who I was, and if my career was over, my name would forever leave a negative mark.

I didn't want that for myself. My life was already watched through binoculars, and that's why I couldn't just always stay in Churchwood. It was as if I was already put on a track, and I could never make myself not famous. I was either famous or infamous, and the choice rested in my hands. One look at my Twitter feed would show that my fans had not jumped ship yet, and it was up to me to make sure they didn't.

Because no matter how long I try to be someone else, I was Logan Myers, and nothing could change that.

***

Saturday practices were really important to the choir. It was the last time they had to practice before performing at mass on Sunday. This week, they were singing the whole mass, so it really was a big deal. I made sure to get there early.

I arrived first, but I knew better than to start singing that time. The last time I did that there were lethal effects on my feelings.

I sat in the pew, pulling out my phone. I read over my dad's text again. I never responded; I didn't think he wanted me to. There was no way to reply. I didn't even tell Rich about it. Of course, my dad was probably talking to him anyway. My dad scared Rich, so I'm pretty sure he would take his side in any matter.