In Your Dreams (BxB) ✓

twentytwo

"What the hell did you do with Quentin?" Christian asks, an anger rising in his tone.

"What?" I ask, still processing.

"I had a dream, one of our "amazing" dreams that we have, and I saw you. With Quentin. Kissing him. Pulling his hair. In his bed! Everything... I saw it." He tried his best to hold back the tears, to look strong, but he can't. He retorts, screaming, "How could you do this to me!? I thought you loved me!"

"I do! If you saw everything, you saw me push him away. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help liking it for a moment! He was my best friend!"

"I am your best friend! I'm your boyfriend! Why would you be alone with him when you know he loved you?"

"I thought it would be okay. I thought that-that everything was fine, and we could just be friends. We both have boyfriends! I want to be just friends, but I don't think he does."

"So you aren't going to be around him anymore?" he asks, eyeing me for any tells of whether I'm lying. I'm not going to lie.

"Unless things are normal and he doesn't have feelings for me, then no. I won't go near him from now on. I was scared, too. I'm sorry I went off and hung out with him like that." I reach forward to hug him and he backs away, the look of hurt plastered on his face ripping me apart. "I... I'm sorry. I'll leave."

"Yeah..." he hinted.

"I really love you, you know. And I'm so sorry. I hate this." I want to cry but I don't deserve to.

"Bye, Jay." His eyes don't meet my pleading ones as he shuts the door in my face. This is why I don't deserve him. I can't do shitty things like this anymore. But I don't want to leave!

"I didn't mean to kiss him! Christian, please don't make me go home! I love you so much, I just want to hold you and forget every other guy in this world! Please!" I bang my fists on the front door, then slide down until I'm kneeling on the ground, crying for his mercy. "I'm sorry..." The door opens, and I don't lift my face. I start shivering, my teeth chattering, realizing how cold it is.

"Come inside, it's getting cold." Christian steps back, allowing me to rise from the ground and come in. I grab my bag from the ground beside me. I shut the door and try and keep up with him as he hurries away to the upstairs. When we finally arrive at his bedroom door, he opens it and turns to meet my gaze. "Next room to the right of where you're standing, stay in there tonight."

"Okay, thank you," I say, my arms rising for a second but they drop, knowing he wouldn't embrace me.

"I just need time. Goodnight."

"Yeah, goodnight." He shuts the door and I stand in the hall, alone. I begin to walk down the long hall to my downgraded bedroom. Curse that fucking dream link we have, but it doesn't change the fact that it happened. What I did with Quen happened. The way I hurt Christian really happened. It's crushing my soul every second he doesn't forgive me. But I deserve it.

I open the door and walk inside the room, which is actually well kept. I throw my bag down at the end of the bed, then strip down to nothing but my underwear. I sink my body into the soft bed, the sheets smell freshly washed. It's a nice smell, but I want to be smelling him. I just don't know what to do, other than go to sleep, so I guess I will. I'm exhausted anyways. Thinking about how hurt Christian and Quentin are right now, I cry myself to sleep.

• • •

Shuffling in the sheets, a hand pressing against my side, a body molding against mine, someone's breath hitting my chest.