Stand in the Rain (Dean Winchester story)

Chapter 13

A/N: The song Lizzy has in her head in this chapter is called A Place Called Home, by Kim Richey. Hopefully it's easy to tell, but the song lyrics are in the italics. That is all, once again, enjoy!

Lizzy

I run out stomp out of the bunker in bare feet, humming one of my favorite songs from when I was stressed as a little girl. 

Well it's not hard to see, anyone who looks at me knows I'm just a rolling stone, never landed any place to call my own. To call my own.

Being that it's now May, the rain that was shooting down the last time I left the bunker walls, is softer, but still there. The droplets fall on my hearing aids, causing them to freak out and make annoying little frizzy, static sounds. I groan in frustration as I practically tear them out of my ears and shove them into my pocket. I can't let myself forget that they're there later.

Well it, seems like so long ago, but it really ain't you know, I started off a crazy kid, miracle I made it through the things I did, the things I did.

I stop in the middle of the road after a few minutes of just walking. Breathing heavily I focus on the lyrics that I used so long ago to calm me. 

Well someday I'll go, where there ain't no rain or snow, till then, I travel alone. And I make my bed with the stars above my head and dream of a place called home.        I had a chance to settle down, get a job and live in town, work in some old factory. I never liked the foreman standing over me, over me. I'd rather walk a winding road, rather know the things I know. See the world with my own eyes. No regrets, no looking back, no goodbyes. No goodbyes.

Once, I'm breathing normally again, I decide to keep walking and look around at the trees surrounding the bunker. It's actually really beautiful, I can't believe I haven't tried to leave more often. Wait, I know why- Dean. I realize he's just trying to protect me, but I think I've had enough "protection" to last me a lifetime. What happened to girls running the world? Strong, independent women? I can stick up for myself, I don't need a stupid fallen angel father to keep me in the house or Sam and Dean shielding me forever. It's time I tell Dean to teach me how to fight. 

Someday I'll go where there ain't no rain or snow, till then, I travel alone. And I make my bed with the stars above my head and dream of a place called home.

I run into branches without realizing it due to my inner monologue. I'm stopped by Dean grabbing my shoulders and pulling me back before I step into a dip in the road that would trip me during my lack of attention to where my feet are. 

"What in the-!" I shriek as I fall back into Dean's chest. 

"I realize you gotta cool off, but there gotta be a better way than running to plants and almost tripping on the road faults." He turns me around to face him. His eyebrows crease in concern. I slump into his ribs and wrap my arms around his waist, pulling myself closer to him. He holds me tightly as I start to tear up.

"It's not fair. None of this is fair." I mumble into his shirt. 

"I know, baby girl." Kisses the top of my head softly while his arms cage me deeper to him. "You are looking at one of the best poster kids for unfair life, I know it's hard, but you're tough. Just let it out."

"Is something wrong with me?" I look up at him with teary, red-rimmed eyes.

"Why would you think that?" He asks gently. 

"If I was something everybody already knew the name of, something everybody knew what I was, would demons still have killed my parents looking for me? I mean, maybe the reason my dad thought he had to protect me was because he didn't know what else to do with a thing no one's dealt with before." I hold back my sobs as best I can even though Dean tells me to let everything out. "Maybe if we knew what I was, everybody would leave who I love alone."

"Now you look me." Dean takes my chin in his hand. His mossy gaze stares into my own granite colored eyes. "Read my lips if you have to, but hear me out if you won't listen to anything else. There is nothing wrong with you. I know that sometimes you look in the mirror and you hate what you see because you think all these things are your fault, but they're not. I know that it's a lot to handle, and that there's all of this unthinkable shit you've dealt with, I know. But you're not alone, lemme take care of you. 

"Just like you said, everything'll be alright in the end, but you gotta let people help you, and take care of you even when you want to be able to stand your own ground in a fight. You can't do anything until you get the help you need, and trust me I want to help you, but you gotta let me in. No more pacing in your room with the door locked, no more hiding behind your coffee mug. Thing'll's get better, you don't have to fight alone, because you aren't alone. You're never gonna be alone again."  He holds me closer than before, tighter, like I'll slip out of his reach if he doesn't keep me confined to his chest. He whispers in my ear, but I don't understand what he says. His hand trails up and down my back, soothing me, making sure I know that he's there. 

We stay that way for a few minutes. Me tucked in his arms, while I keep my own arms wrapped around his torso. His hand staying on my back, his lips on my head. My eyes remain closed the whole time the rain falls around us. After a while, we walk back to the bunker, his arm stays around my waist and I continue to lightly lean into him.