Empress Natsume ✓

V

My eyes are downcast as soon as we reach the meeting hall. My heart is beating so loudly in my chest, I think it will jump out.

I may look calm but I'm nervous inside, I know how to hide my emotions and how to control myself. That's what I've been practicing for two years now.

'Don't let your emotions show easily, your enemies will easily read you. Control yourself, your temper, so you wouldn't regret your actions later. Being the wife of Lord Raiden Ryuu is not easy and not just luxury, you'll have countless enemies around you and you should be in full alert at all times, don't go thinking that you're safe because you'll never be safe even at your sleep, wherever you go, there's no such thing as safe place for you. You shouldn't trust people easily even if you know them for a long time, betrayal is inevitable, and it may cause you your worst downfall'

I closed my eyes for a moment, remembering my mother's words.

When I was seven feet away from him, the servant who was escorting me left without a word.

I took a step forward and slowly prostate to the ground as gracefully as I could.

"Forgive my insolence my lord, I sincerely apologize for my tardiness"

"Raise"

Before I get up from my prostrated bow, I raise my head a little to take a peek of his face.

He still look the same, only a little bit older, pitch black hair and eyes, and of course his scary dark aura. Lord Raiden is beautiful but his ruthlessness is tainting it.

He doesn't look mad but he does look displeased.

"Again, I deeply and sincerely apologize, milord"

I said looking downcast again, he didn't speak for a moment.

Although, I can't see him. I can feel his critic eyes roaming around my body.

"You've grown"

Two words from him. I know for a fact that Lord Ryuu doesn't talk much, he's laconic.

His words are empty, no room for appraisal.

Silence...

An uncomfortable silence, it's like.... he's displeased of me.

I'm not that ugly and I'm aware of my appearance. I'm pretty, but I'm not the 'prettier' or the 'prettiest' either.

People would say I'm pretty but I can't say that my face is the prettiest even in our village, Mio and Aki are the prettiest in our village. Their beauties rivalled each other and that's just in our village, what more if it's in town or city?

I'm sure, he already saw a lot of beautiful girls that are no match to my face or is it my dress?

My kimono is pretty though, it's designed with cherry blossoms.

I swallowed, this silence is scaring me.

Should I start up a conversation?

"How is--"

But before I could finish my sentence, he interrupted.

"The wedding will be tonight"

I hide my astonishment and look at him with neutral expression.

Tonight? Isn't it too soon?

Besides, if it's tonight, the husband shouldn't see the bride for a day before their wedding or it will bring bad luck to them.

Now that I remember, this is Lord Raiden Ryuu we are talking about, who doesn't always follow the traditions or rules and doesn't believe in gods.

I tightly pursed my lips together, I don't have a say on to this, I know that, but a wedding like this without any preparations is like condemning me that I'm worthless, my wedding night will took place after three hours and after that, that's it, that's all.

I'll just have to take a bath, wear my uchikake kimono, enter his chamber, and lie with him.

He should have at least make a preparation and invite my parents and some of his relatives and friends to his castle since my parents can't attend my wedding because it was entirely under him, he said that his bride will go to his castle without the mention of my parents and I doubt that he has a relatives to attend to his wedding, he either kill all his nearby relatives or they just don't want to attend his wedding to spite him, that's what I know, that Lord Ryuu killed many of his relatives and his parents are the first ones he had killed.

Knowing this about him increased my anxieties, just his presence makes me suffocated and go weak on my knees. My hands can't stop trembling so I hide them under the sleeves of my kimono. If he can kill his own parents, his siblings and other relatives, what more of his wife?

I can barely get myself together in his presence and my façade is slowly wearing out.

"If that's what his lordship wants then I'm fine with it"

I said, smiling.

This is the harsh reality in life, where men always dominated women.

Women should always follow and agree with her husband and support him no matter what.

This may sound strange to some people, coming these words from my mouth but it would be great if he's always not at home, that way I could let my heart at ease. If he's always at home, my anxieties will kill me.

It's a contradiction to what people mostly feel, wives cannot let their hearts at ease if their husbands are in a war, they worry if their husbands are still alive, in a good health or injured, it's not because I want him to die already because if he did, where would that leave me? I would go back to my depress parents and people in my endangered village if he did die. I don't want him to be always at home but I don't want him to die either.

And I doubt that Lord Ryuu can be easily killed in a battlefield, the three states he acquired when he was twenty was still under him, and after two years, he acquired seven States and defeated a warlord that had a five States under him and if you add his family states that are under them, since he already owned it after he killed his family, their family owned states is naturally passed to him without questions. That makes it twenty states under him out of forty seven states in Sang and surprisingly, there are no people in the states under him that are rebelling against him.

Perhaps he's a good ruler, all of the states under him are prosperous. Some of his people believed that he will be the future King of Sang and others believed that he'll be the future emperor of Sang that will establish the Ryuu empire, it sounds so ridiculous in my very own ears. I know that he's strong and powerful but it never occurred to me that he'll become an emperor, that position is hard to reach, it will take him more than fifty years to achieve that and he'll be an old frail before that happens, too old to even fight and swing his sword.

I didn't notice that he was already standing up until he speak.

"Something may came up so I'll have to marry you now if we don't want to delay the marriage for years"

I know that very well, but this is too much, it's like an insult but who am I to even complain about this circumstances anyway?

I should be grateful and glad that Lord Ryuu still wants to marry me as his first wife after two years, he could have married another girl when he was still twenty, beautiful noble women are trying to get his attention to no avail.

I craned my neck to look at him again, I didn't notice that he was this tall. My height barely reached his chest. I want to say something about this marriage but I kept my lips together for me not to say anything, I'm afraid that I'll infuriate him more.

Being late in our meeting is enough.

He didn't say anything after that, I bowed again when he passed by me.

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