Empress Natsume ✓

LVI

"What a beautiful boy... "

A big rough hand grabbed the boy's face, trailing his callous fingers across his smooth white skin.

The boy's clear innocent eyes stared back at the man who's around his forties with fear. As much as he wanted to run away, the cold and rusty chain is bounding his feet and hands.

"How old is he?"

This lecherous old man can't stop trailing his hands around him, his eyes are glued to his attractive face that could pass off as a girl and can even surpass a woman's beauty.

Yuta shivered as the scene changed into a darker one. A scene that makes his skin crawled, wanting to skin himself whenever that event flashed in his memory. It was painful, sickening and disgusting all the same.

A beautiful child around seven years old is lying on a red draped bed with four posts, a red thin curtain is barely concealing the sinful act in the bed. The red quilt contrasted his fair white skin, his shoulder length silky black hair is carelessly spilled on the pillow and a big old man around his forties is pounding on him. The boy cried in pain but the man never stops, his cries stimulates the man even more. His cries has a sensual allure to him, making the man on top of him pounds harder on him...

With great difficulty, Yuta tried to ripped open his eyes as a pair of small warm hands pressed on both of his cheeks. He's breathing heavily and he can feel that his black robe is damped with cold sweat, beads of sweat rolled down from his temple.

A bright eyes, reflecting her innocence looked back at him with worry, making him feel dirtier than the dirt he is.

"Are you okay?"

Her sweet melodic voice was laced with worry. Yuta stared strangely at the girl for a minute, trying to process something before he slapped both of her hands.

"Don't touch me without my permission"

He coldly told her, closing his eyes again. He didn't plan on sleeping again, he doesn't want to see those horrible things again in his sleep.

Sometimes he thinks that death is better, no hunger, no poverty, no abused. Just nothing, or maybe there is hell and heaven. If there is, where would he go?

Can a dirty child with no good deeds pass in heaven? Or would he spend an eternity in hell for taking many lives, for stealing, and for physically and mentally hurting many people?

Was it his fault in the first place? Is it his fault that he's born as an orphan with no parents to care for him, is it his fault that he became a 'thing' to those lecherous men in the slave market because he's too beautiful that he can surpassed a woman's beauty.

Three years of being sexually abused and four years of being a bandit.

Death... He thought of that many times, he has suffered more than a human being can take, he mentally and physically suffered. He can't sleep peacefully at night, the past and present him hunted him. His future is bleak, just a dark harsh path to take in front of him.

But if he did die. Who would avenge for him? His grudge is too heavy, would he let go of those people who trampled all over him just like that? The pain he felt these past and present days, he wanted to return it to them ten folds. He would live for revenge.

A soft melodic voice sounded while he's in his dark thoughts with his eyes closed.

“As soon as Bon comes,
I will leave for my hometown.
Let it be soon, so I can go home.

I am no better than a beggar.
They are rich people,
With good obi and good kimono.

Who will cry for me
When I die?
Only the cicadas in the mountains.

No, it’s not cicadas.
It’s my little sister.
Don’t cry, little sister, I will be sad for you.

When I am dead,
Bury me by the roadside.
The passers-by will lay flowers for me.

What flowers would they lay?
Cam-cam- camellias
Water falling down from above.”

This song... It's actually quite popular in many villages, especially for the commoners who sighed in their misfortunes but the nobles? They would even scoffed at it, enjoying the misfortunes of others.

"Where did you learn this song?"

He asked, opening his eyes and looking at her side ways.

"I've heard it from my friends"

"You have a commoner friends in your village?"

Natsume look back at him, confused.

"Commoner friends? No, there's no commoner in there, we're just best of friends"

This girl is so strange. A girl who only knows how to complain about the heat, her clothes, and foods actually knows how to sing a commoner's song and even have commoner friends.

"Did you know that you're... really weird? I thought noble girls were thought etiquettes at a very young age"

She looked flustered at the mention of it. Feeling embarrassed, she scratch her head a little.

"I'm not that diligent with my studies. I got bored with books so easily"

That night, he slept peacefully for the first time after she sang it again, though she's unaware if he's still listening to her singing or not, or if he finds her singing annoying. It doesn't really matter since he didn't complain about it. She just wanted to sing to comfort herself that she will come back home eventually.

Just before sunrise, a sound of horse's hooves interrupted their slumber. Natsume quickly crawled to his side, frightened at the thought of being captured again.

"Older brother... "

She held his hand, pleading. It was as if she whole heartedly believes that Yuta can get the both of them out of this situation.

If they get caught, God knows what they will do to them. He knows how brutal these group of bandits can be. After all, he's also a member of them for four years, what he had done cannot be forgiven, only a painful death can compensate with it.

He was not afraid of facing them, he has prepared himself for the worst and he has many methods to sneak away but those methods only requires one person, it won't work if there's two people.

Yuta had long planned that if things didn't go according to his plan, he would abandon this annoying girl without a second thought. After all, she's the main object of the bandits chase in exchange for golds while he, on the other hand will be tortured to death for his traitorous act.

However, his thoughts of abandoning her faltered as Natsume looked up at him with trusting gaze. It was as if he was a hero from an epic story that will save the world, holding on his hands in determination.

It wasn't a bad feeling, he thought. He was always the villain, the murderer, the evil one. It was the first time that someone look at him this way. Maybe... He will act like a hero for once.

When that thought emerged in his mind, he knew he's in a very big trouble. Such a foolish thought that a dirt like him would dare to do so.