The Death of Me (COMPLETED)

Chapter Twenty Four

Tessa

Black dress. Black cardigan. Black flats I borrowed from Charlotte. That's what I was wearing to the funeral.
We had all decided to dress in black and only black this morning.
Black represented our sadness.
Jessamine had taken me shopping the night before for the dress and the cardigan. I sat on the bed in her room now as she did my makeup. Will had told me I looked better natural, but Jessamine insisted. We had decided to keep my hair down.
Jessamine was wearing a tight black dress with heels. She had put her hair up in a fancy bun. "Close your eyes," Jessamine instructed. I was just shutting them when there was a knock at the door. Will poked his head in. "Can I come in?" He asked. Jessamine smiled halfheartedly. "Sure, William. But don't distract Tessa; I need to finish her makeup," She replied. Will sat down on the floor. We hadn't spoken since this morning, and I was still worried about him. "I don't see why she needs it," He said, winking at me. I blushed. Jessamine rolled her eyes. "I said don't distract Tessa, not flirt with her. Close your eyes, Tess."
Will pouted. "That's my nickname for her." Smiling, I shut my eyes so Jessamine could finish. I could hear snippets of their conversation.
"You look nice, Will."
"Thanks. I honestly wish you wouldn't wear something that tight."
"Stop playing the overprotective older brother card. Jem's normally... never mind."
It was silent. Then, Will spoke.
"It's alright, Jessamine. It- it's just so easy to forget he's gone. I want to pretend he's still here. I miss him." His voice was wobbling, like he was about to break. "It's my fault. I should've seen the signs. If I'd just paid more attention, I would've known Jem was getting bad again. Maybe if I had noticed, this wouldn't be happening."
"It's not your fault, Will," I told him. "Hold still and be quiet," Jessamine hissed.
It was true- Jem's death wasn't Will's fault, but mine. I just had to fall in love with him, didn't I? I had to burden his family with my problems and distract them all. If I had just found the office on my own on that very first day, maybe Jem would still be alive. I would take a million beatings from Nate to save his life.
Will just sighed. For a split second I wondered if he had cut himself and Church didn't scratch him after all. But he wouldn't do that, would he? I mean, I had scars from thousands of beatings, and Will wouldn't mark his own skin after all I'd been through, right?
I pushed the thought away.
"You can open your eyes," Jessamine said. My eyes snapped open and I took in Will's appearance. He looked handsome in a black button up shirt and dress pants. The life in his beautiful blue eyes was gone, replaced by emptiness. He did perk a bit, though, when he noticed me looking at him.
"I'm going to make sure Cecily is wearing something decent," Jessamine said, standing up. She left Will and I alone in the room.
I walked over to him and sat on his lap. "You look so good today," I whispered. Will grinned. "You look better."
Then we were kissing. His lips were soft as ever, but the smell of pine was fainter. He smelled more like lavender, the new candle in his room. Candles were one of the things Will loved. He told me he'd switch them out every week. He ran his hand through my hair and his lips strayed from mine. He began to kiss along my jawline, sending shudders through my body.
"Really?" Jessamine asked, entering the room. "My bedroom?" Will laughed. "Don't even start, Jessie. Remember the time I walked in on you and Mark Blackthorn? You were-"
Jessamine cut him off. "Shush, William. Charlotte can't know about that."
I decided not to ask questions.
Speaking of Charlotte, she poked her head into the room. Her hair was done in a complex braid that Jessamine had probably done. "Are you about ready? The funeral starts in about fifty minutes." "Yeah," Will said, speaking for all us. We stood up and walked downstairs. I got a look at Charlotte's outfit. She was wearing a black dress with heels to make her look taller. Cecily and Henry were waiting for us in the sitting room. Henry smiled kindly at us, but his eyes were somber. He was dressed in a black suit. Cecily looked like she couldn't decide whether she was sad or bored at the moment. Her black dress was so long that I couldn't see her shoes. Her curly hair fell onto her shoulders.
We headed out to the car and to the funeral home.