I care.

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WARNING: hallucinations, blood, suicide. Graphic scenes.

A creepy little girl appears, then disappears. Then there are skulls, taunting him, engulfing him. Lovino tries his hardest to not weep in fear. He then sees creatures with teeth, and a killer, coming closer to Lovino.
MAKE IT STOP! He thinks, trying to make it go away.

Lovino fell asleep at 2:00. The visions only lasted about 7 minutes, but Lovino was too terrified to sleep until 2:00.

This was one of the multiple mornings that he questioned his sanity.

The Spanish boy continues to sit with Lovino everyday. This has happened for the past 5 days, despite his the Italian's protests.

One day, it was different.

"There is something wrong with you, you are not fine." Insists Antonio. Lovino breaths in in frustration, wondering why this 12th grader is so nosey.
"For the last time, stop questioning me. I am fine!" Lovino practically yells. The truth is, he believes it. He has convinced himself that all the things he feels are normal and he is fine.
"Look." Says the Spaniard, his entrancing green eyes stating in to Lovino's, "I've been through rough times in my life. I know what it's like pretend to be fine. If you ever need anything, call me. Please. Be smart with your decisions. If you need someone, call me. I will be there. I care."
Antonio hands Lovino his number on a slip of paper.
"Okay, bastard, thanks and all, but I'm fine. Really." Says Lovino, slipping the paper in his pocket. They finish lunch, and Antonio leaves, a worried look on his face.

The rest of the day was fine. Lovino walks out of school, Antonio on his mind. He can't stop thinking of his kindness today, his caring smile, his beautiful ey-
No! Lovino thinks. He will not fall for this 12th grader. They are 2 years apart!
Yet the thought of him makes Lovino feel happy and nervous at the same time.

The next day, Lovino arrives at school with energy. No visions came the previous night, so he didn't lose sleep to them. He lost sleep to his regular self-loathing/thoughts/crying, but not as much as if he saw visions. He walks into class, preparing his notebooks and supplies. He is looking forward to lunch, hoping to see the intriguing Spaniard.

The clock ticks ever so slowly as Lovino waits for lunch in math class. He is lost in thought. As much as he doesn't want to admit it, Antonio makes some of the pain go away. Without having to forget, he can have some relief, relief from everything.
"Lovino, are you okay?" The teacher asks worriedly. And that's when he realizes he is crying.
"I-I'm fine really....just allergies." He sputters, even though it's October. His face burns red with embarrassment. He sits there awkwardly for what seems like forever, but is actually only 16 seconds. Then finally, to his relief, the bell rings. He grabs his pasta and rushes to the cafeteria. He sits in their usual spot, trying not to look too eager.
He waits.
A minute.
2 minutes.
5 minutes.
10 minutes.
He is starting to lose hope. He feels disappointed, but not mad. I mean, who could blame him? What cool, good looking 12th grader wants to sit with some angry pessimistic 10th grader?

Lovino's stomach falls to the floor as he realizes he's not coming. His hope of relief from the pain slowly dissipates as he puts his arms in the table and buries his head in them.

A loud thump of someone sitting down.

"I'm so, so sorry I'm late." Says a Spanish accent. Lovino looks up in shock.
"Your here!" He says, too exited.
"I had to finish and assignment, sorry again. Please forgive me!" He pleads.
"It's fine." Says Lovi. Antonio gives him a worried look.
"Your eyes look bloodshot." He states.
Lovino remembers math class.
"Your not fine. Please tell me what's wrong!"
"Bastard, nothing is wrong! I just had allergies."
"In October?"
"I'm allergic to the leaves."
Antonio looks at Lovino with a disapproving glance, then changes the topic.

They enjoy the rest of lunch.
-
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They continue to sit together for  2 weeks. Lovino finally accepted he has a crush on him.

It's Friday, and when Lovino gets home, he remembers that his parents are both out for the weekend. They said they wanted to have a romantic weekend away from the kids. Feli is out with his friends.

Lovino is alone.

He plays guitar for hours on end and only gets up to eat/use the washroom.

Then it's time to sleep.

The visions haven't been that bad lately, but he is still terrified to turn off the light.

He turns off the lamp and lies down.

First, the feelings of self-loathing, memories and depression hit, practically drowning him.

Then the visions start.

First flames, then smoke. Skulls, screaming faces, mocking him.

An axe murderer with a smile to his ears.

Creatures. Dying people.

Before Lovino realizes what he is doing,    he is doing, he is yelling. The tears are steaming down his face.
"MAKE IT STOP!" He breathlessly screams.

He runs to the washroom, using his phone as a flashlight. He turns on the washroom light and grabs it.

He grabs the razor.

He fumbles with it to get a blade free, slicing his fingers in the process. One finally comes free.

Sitting it the bathtub, he presses the cold blade to the bulging artery on his wrist. He drags it down his olive skin, gasping sharply at the pain. He sees the blood, and smiles.

But then he thinks of Antonio. He for his phone and calls him using the number he gave to him that he memorized.
"Hello?"
"Come here!" Gasps Lovino. "No ones home. Climb in through the window, it's downstairs. Break it if you must. My adress is (insert random adress), just please. I'm so sorry just please." Lovino  yells through gasps.
"I don't know what's wrong, but I'll be there!" Says Antonio, hanging up.

Antonio's perspective

He breaks the window, and walks into the only room with a light on.

The first thing he sees is the blood. He follows it to Lovino's wrist.

He lets out a sob as he understands. He knew Lovino wasn't okay, but this?

Antonio checks his pulse.

Lovino is passed out, not dead.

He dials 911, and they tell him to hold his arm up with a cloth to it until they get there.

He finds a cloth, does as he was told, and waits. He knows he loves him, but is he too late?

Visions (A sad Spamano fic) Where stories live. Discover now