Visions (A sad Spamano fic)

Spanish Gin

Back to third person POV
Warning: alcohol

It has been a month since Lovino's diagnosis, and he is doing fairly well. He usually stays in Antonio's dorm room, as he claims that is when the visions subside, and he feels safest. His medicine helps a lot too. Antonio loves to hug and comfort his little Lovino, like he did back in highschool.

But Antonio has a secret.

He has a drinking problem.

The truth is, he is scarred. He is scarred by the emotional trauma that haunts his past. Living in the basement, being fostered, and hurt. He remembers always hiding, always pretending and smiling.

He remembers the taste of the vomit. From the time he sobbed so hard, he threw up.

These memories haunt him, and drinking is how he deals with it. He started right when he could, at 19, and has done it ever since.

But Lovino can't know.

Which is why Antonio is currently in the public washroom with his bottle of Spanish gin. He sits in the large stall, downing the warm liquid. It burns down his throat, causing his eyes widen. It then hits his stomach with a warm feeling. He smiles and takes another gulp. It it bitter, but he doesn't wince.

He finishes the bottle, hiding it in his bag. He then looks down at his shaking hands. He then tries to stand, falling. He tries again, and succeeds. He opens the stall and stumbles out, catching himself on the sink. He looks in the mirror at himself.

His green eyes are hazy and glazed, looking almost haunted. He shudders and leaves the washroom, stumbling to his dorm room. His last class for the day was an hour ago, so he knows he can just relax. He falls onto his bed, immediately falling into a deep, drunken sleep.
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(A/N- I wanted this next part in italics but wattpad is acting up so sorry)
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A field. Why a field? Antonio looks around and realizes that there are juicy, red tomatoes as far as the eye can see. Squealing at the sight, he picks one, wipes it on his shirt, and then eats it. While enjoying the tasty fruit, he looks up to see a young male with big hazel eyes about 5 paces away from him. His auburn hair is glowing due to the sun's bright rays, and he wears a golden robe. Antonio looks down at his own body and realizes he is wearing the same thing! How strange. Ignoring this though, Antonio addresses the male in-front of him.
"Lovi?"
Lovino doesn't respond, he only comes much closer to Antonio. He then gently kisses him.

And Antonio forgets everything. He forgets that he was fostered. He forgets that he was separated from his love for so long...he just forgets. He forgets about the alcohol, and how he depends on its bitter sting.

Because all he can think of is the angelic Italian that is kissing him in the middle of the tomato field.
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Antonio wakes up to find Lovino in his dorm room. They have keys to each other's room.
"Hola L-lovii" Antonio slurs, realizing he is still drunk.
"You okay bastard?" Asks the worried Italian, standing up from the chair he was in.
"I goood." He replies, shaking his head vigorously to ease the dizziness. Lovino says no more, but looks at Antonio sceptically. Then, he crawls into Antonio's bed, snuggling up to his Spanish boyfriend. Antonio smiles and gently pecks Lovino on the lips. Lovino smiles, and starts to actually kiss him.

And then he stops and pulls away.
"Antonio, why do you taste of alcohol?"
"Mm no reason!"
"Are you drunk?"
"No!"
Lovino raises an eyebrow, causing Antonio to feel very nervous. Finally, he gives in to his boyfriend's questioning face.
"Okaaay fine, a littllle." Admits the slurring Spaniard. Lovino sighs.
"Where did you get drunk? Is this the first time?" Questions Lovino, becoming visibly upset. Antonio freezes. What can he say? Lovino can't find out that he is an alcoholic!
"Uuuhhh, I wasss here and I, uhh, accidentally had tooooo many beeeers, and it is the first tiiime it has happened since we started dating again." Antonio grimaces as the lies flow through his mouth. And then the worst thing happens.
He gets sick.
Yup, his body rejects the alcohol and he runs towards the washroom, a worried Italian following straight behind him.
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-skipping this because kinda gross
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Once Antonio's body decides to stop torturing him, Lovino helps him up.
"You should probably shower." Comments Lovino. Antonio nods, heading for the washroom. Still being a little intoxicated, he mutters:
"Lovi wanna join me?" This causes Lovino to roll his hazel eyes and laugh a bit.
"Don't even think about it, bastard." He says to Antonio, who then disappears behind the large bathroom door. Lovino yawns and walks over to the little couch. It has white fake leather, and a woollen black blanket that Lovino loves. Sitting down, he lets his thin frame sink into the soft couch, yawning. He grabs the blanket and pulls it up to his face, covering himself in the warm, cozy blanket. Once he is finally comfortable, he looks over at the clock.

Pill time.

He really doesn't want to leave the comfiness of the couch, but sadly, he must. He is aware of the consequences if he doesn't take them, so he stands up. His bag is on Antonio's bed, so he groggily walks towards it, taking out an orange pill bottle. He swallows the pill dry, and then begins to walk towards the couch.

But his foot hit something close to the edge of the bed.

Curious, the Italian male gets on his hands and knees to examine it.

A bottle of gin.

Some sort of Spanish gin.

Still confused, Lovino lifts the sheet to reveal under the bed, assuming that is where the bottle came from.

What Lovino finds blows him away, and makes him realize that his precious Antonio has been lying.

Lovino finds 15 more bottles of Spanish gin.    

A/N- short whoops, but cliffhanger?? Thanks for reading:)