Forbidden

Home

Leanne's POV

I wake up and Michael is sleeping and still has his arms wrapped right around me. Nothing happened between us last night and apart of me wishes I hadn't let him sleep in bed with me last night, but I've been sleeping in Michael's arms at night for so long now that it felt cold and empty without him next to me.

I don't forgive him for what he did just like I don't with Carley or Randy and everybody else that's lied to me, but I also don't hate him either. In a way I do understand Michael not telling me, but he spent over a year going behind my back doing his best to keep me from finding out and it's not the first time he's done this either. He did the same thing when he found out about my parents or whoever they were died and that's what hurts the most because I forgave him the first time and he did it again and now it makes me wonder what else he's keeping from me.

I know I'm not exactly innocent and I've lied to Michael myself in the past especially when we first met and I told him I was 18. My lie could have gotten him sent to jail, but at the time I was scared and not just of Mary, but of Michael too. Just like I was scared of the others. But Michael had no reason to lie or to hide this from me.

I don't hate Michael for what he did, but I'm still trying to figure out if I can trust him or not. I thought I could, but then again I thought could trust the two people that raised and thought they were the sweetest most amazing and loving parents in the world and it turn out they weren't even my parents. I'm trying to hate them for what they did, but everytime I try to, all I can think about is all the amazing and happy times I had with them and I can't remember a single day that I felt sad growing up and all those special moments are the only things that come to my mind when I think about them and that's what kept me going after they died, but when I look at pictures and videos of them all I can think off is what they did to Carley. She was only 17 when she had me, just like I was when I had the Annabelle and Ryan. The only difference is she didn't have a husband and a family around to take care of her. She was all alone and my dad just stole me from her while she was sleeping, but Carley's another person I don't know how to feel about either. She's supposedly my real mom and been looking for me for the past 18 years and I hate what my parents put her through, but she lied to me too. She could have told me who she was the day we first met. I remeber commenting that she looked familiar and at first I thought I was just thinking of someone else, but Carley knew exactly why she seemed familiar to me, but instead of telling me the truth she denied it and continues pretending not to know me.

I turn over and see it's only 4am so I slowly and quietly move away from Michael so I don't wake him and get out of bed then tiptoe into my old room check on the twins and smile, seeing them sleeping soundly then tiptoe downstairs.

I go into the living room and start up my laptop so I can check my emails and the first thing that I see is the screen saver of me and my parents. It's a photo of the 3 of us that was taken on my 15th birthday which is the last birthday I shared with them before this whole nightmare began. I keep starting at the photo looking at how sweet and perfect the family in the photo looks and how loving and happy they all seem and the more I look. The more it breaks my heart knowing that it was all just a lie. Just like the rest of my life has been.

I close my laptop and Bugsy comes over to me purring and jumps onto my lap. "You can't sleep either huh?" I mutter and he just looks at me and meow's softly. "C'mon let go find something else to do" I smile and carry him over to the TV where my Xbox is.

The doctor gave me something after the twins were born to help me sleep better, but I stopped taken them awhile ago because my nightmares and flashback started happening again and with everything that's happened in the last few days, sleep probably wouldn't be any good for me right now anyway.