seventeen » alone

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"Erm, Y/N

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"Erm, Y/N... would you prefer if I left?"

I raised my eyebrows as I was pulled from my thoughts and looked up. Q was staring down at me with a puzzled expression. I could tell he didn't want to offend me, but I could also tell that he was very confused at the fact that I had been stood in the same spot for a whole two minutes.

I pursed my lips for a moment. Q quirked an eyebrow. I soon nodded.

"Uh, yeah, I think so," I finally responded.

He seemed satisfied with my response and took one last longing look of concern before turning on his heel on and leaving me alone. I sucked up a deep breath and stared ahead, seeing the one person that was muddling my thoughts together.

After our "moment", if you will, last night, I wasn't sure how today would go. Would we both pretend it didn't happen? Would I ignore my feelings and focus on helping my friends? I was anticipating the worst, that's for sure.

I did a little shake to focus (earning some judge-y looks off bystanders) before heading to the Commander. She was sat on a tree log with a notebook of some sort in her hand and a pen in the other. Whatever she was writing seemed important to her at the time because she was so involved that she didn't see me coming. However, her horse seemed to sense me as he neighed and approached me.

I was surprised by the sudden affection coming from the beautiful white animal, yet I couldn't stop smiling as I stroked his head. He seemed excited and it was adorable.

"Sorry, little dude, I don't have anything for you to snack on unfortunately," I said through a chuckle as he nuzzled his head into me. "Maybe next time, yeah?"

A neigh followed soon after and I laughed wholeheartedly. Animals were actually the best things ever. I gave his head one last stroke before going to the Commander. She was looking up from her notebook now, a toothless smile on her lips.

"Hey," I greeted her, offering a smile of my own, but I noticed her staring at me with a glint of amusement in her eyes. "What is it?" I asked, frowning slightly. "Have I got something on my face?"

I then began to wipe at my face lamely, probably looking like an idiot. I was surprised to hear an actual chuckle escape the Commander's lips; my whole body went numb as the sound resonated within me.

"No, it's just, you sounded like the old you for a second there," she clarified, her wide smile lessening in to a mere upturn of the lips. She tried to mask the sadness that instantly washed over her expression, but I knew it was there.

God, if anything had made me feel guilty for putting her through all of this, it was definitely that comment. Just witnessing the life drain from her expression and the light from her eyes only put into perspective just how much pain I had caused her. Her and many more.

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