『sequel to Frozen In Time』
After defeating Ice Nation and its queen, Y/N and Lexa truly believed that they could finally have their happily ever after.
They were wrong.
For the second time in this post-apocalyptic world, Y/N is kidnapped by an ene...
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It wasn't long after the missile attack on Tondc that we returned to Polis to rethink our strategies. Clarke returned with her people to Arkadia, after being reassured that her mother and Octavia were both okay. Indra survived, too, thankfully, yet still, many died and it didn't make the survivor's guilt any easier.
Nothing was making anything easier anymore. That barely made any sense, just like my thoughts. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I hated this battle I felt I was constantly fighting. I hated myself for so many things. And I absolutely despised myself for thinking I had any right to feel this way. Everybody else was suffering, not me.
The Sky People still didn't have their people back; Clarke was still being weighed down with responsibilities of being in charge; Octavia had to worry about whether her brother was going to make it out alive or not; the Grounders still hadn't got their people back either, and they were still coping with the changes regarding the Sky People; and Lexa... She had so much to stress herself out with. Being Commander, looking after her people, losing me...
I had no right to complain. And everything was piling up inside of me and I honestly could not take it anymore. So what, I couldn't remember things, boo hoo. They had it worse, and my memory loss only seemed to be hurting everyone around me.
"Y/N, are you sure you are okay?" Lexa's concerned voice echoed around the empty throne room.
There she was, worrying about me again. As she always did, when I was the one who should have been checking on her. She lost some of her people yesterday, almost died herself, and still has to find a way to get into that damned Mount Weather, yet she was asking if I was okay. It only made me angry, seeing that soft, comforting expression on her face.
"No!" I blurted out, stopping my pacing. I turned to face her and felt my throat close up at how surprised she looked with the volume of my voice. "I'm sick of everything, Lexa! Okay?! I'm not okay! I'll never be–" I paused, before clenching my jaw and looking to my feet with shame. "I'll never be fucking okay..."
She was silent, unsure how to react. But there was nothing she could say.
"I spent all this time getting angry at the Grounders," I began, my voice raising by the second, "at Deka, at Q, at Indra, at you, when all this time I should have been mad at those assholes hiding in that shitty mountain!"
I pressed my cool hands against my face, hoping I could take a moment to calm down, so I wouldn't be yelling in Lexa's face unnecessarily, but it wasn't working. It was too much and I only wanted to let it all out.
"Those people stole my memories!" I shouted, pointing at nothing in particular. Tears were threatening to spill from my eyes, especially as I noticed the guilty expression Lexa wore on her face. She shouldn't have felt guilty. "They took my identity away from me, they took our people, they massacred one of our villages, stole some of the best memories I'll probably ever have, and they will continue to hurt me and you and everyone here until they get what they want."
